family – phonakins

Budget asks and existential dread

Feeling a bit like Tweek from the 2016 South Park where President Garrison is threatening North Korea and cupcakes don’t solve the problem but I’m here making cupcakes (or muffins or whatever I throw together) feeding myself, feeding others and just trying to get through the days and weeks.

So, the Treasurer says the budget isn’t finalised, while preparing the ground for cuts to the NDIS, while disabled people just want to be supported to live. We want access to pensions that cover the rent and health care and food. We want governments and financiers to stop with the narrative of rorts, and perhaps approve the supports we know we need and know would make disabled lives worth living. We want some certainty.

We want fairer taxation. We want you to spend money housing people rather than allowing people to build their “wealth” and property portfolios while tent and caravan cities pop up.

I want aged and disabled care plans determined by qualified people, not an algorithm. I want the NDIS to stop fighting people who are just trying to survive. I want to know that my mother will be able to go back home after her stroke and get more than maybe one shower a week. I want to know that while I’m probably going to be my mother’s main carer, I’ll have support and equipment and extra paid supports as needed to make that a sustainable an safe undertaking for us all.

I want us to not suck up to genocidal presidents. I want to stop reading that it’s been x hours since a ceasefire started in an article about a town being bombed in Southern Lebanon.

I want a lot. Or not very much if you look at it as just wanting a rich country to support its people to live happy, healthy and dignified lives. That involves housing and welfare for all, adequate and safe disability and aged care. That involves being able to go to the GP when I need to and afford the medications I need to sustain my mental health.

I’m very much still running day by day. There’s equipment trials and a family meeting for mum on Friday. There’s helping my sister out so she can take care of her own mental health beyond what the NDIS will support her and her kids to. There’s walks with my dog and dinner and snuggles with my partner to sustain me. There’s a new Hello Kitty Island Adventure expansion pack and a mochi cafe to run. It’s about balance.

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It’s all about timing

In the featured image for this post you will see Maxi looking pleased with himself because he got to tag along for a 2km drive to the end of the road with his head hanging out the window, past the cows in paddocks and the construction for the new twin servos off the M1, to get petrol before the prices jumped on Tuesday with the news about conflict continuing in the Middle East. Obviously, Maxi didn’t care about the oil prices, but I was pleased to say I got $50 of fuel into my tank at $1.65 before it went up 25c overnight at that particular station. The ABC was reporting that households could see an extra $14 a week needing to go to petrol over the coming months, which to some isn’t much, to some a lot, and to me who’s still making 3 80+km round trips a week to see mum in hospital (she’s moved to the rehab hospital which is AWESOME) it matters that I was able to work it so I put petrol in Tuesday instead of tomorrow when my pension goes in.

Waiting on the indexation amounts to be published so I can redo my budget for the next 6 months. It’ll probably be about $20 more a fortnight overall between rent assistance and disability.

I got my first “weird hot cross buns” of the year yesterday at my bread collection – Carrot Cake Inspired ones from Aldi. I microwaved one for 15 seconds and it was awesome! Little bits of cream cheese icing inside and nice and soft and spiced.

Been perfecting my “getting a car park at the hospital” strats. Yesterday I let all the cars go off ahead of me and waited where I was since there was noone behind me needing to go. And I lucked out a Mum and her twin boys came out of the elevator and indicated they were going to their car just in front of me. Score! Sadly, I was charged the advertised parking price for pensioners of $6.80 for the day rather than the $5.60 they have been charging me. Swings and roundabouts I guess.

Mum’s been getting assessed and set up with physio, occupational therapy and speech pathology goals and activities to get her moving again. It’s exhausting for her but she’s hopefully going to make good gains. I’m still aiming to go in Monday, Wednesday and Fridays to see her and support however I can. Yesterday we got outside for a little walk around the grounds. It was super humid! No wonder there’s mould in so many of the local hospitals :/ Nothing is drying anywhere!

That said, I’m attempting to get the sheets and towels washed today, whether they dry or not is another story!

Love yas!

Wanna help me with petrol and parking costs or send some snacks?

When you have the Capability, but your Capacity screams “STOP!”

It’s okay, my capacity isn’t yet screaming at me to stop – I’ve been managing myself alright given the other things I’ve taken on. But the little twitch in my left eye this morning was telling me to slow down a little.

“yeah, I have capacity, what do you need?” pic.twitter.com/kuekymfpgh

— Neil Renic (@NC_Renic) August 15, 2025

Ness often talks about the difference between having capability and having capacity (but damned if I can get my head around funding a good post on her blog or socials, let’s see if I can come back with one) in the context of work expectations, but also in what can be supported for disabled people.

Like, I was asked if I’d be presiding officer for the HSC exams at the school I’ve been supervising at for 2026. Yes, I have the skills needed. I might baulk at some of the people management stuff but I can do it. But I know I simply cannot sustain that level of work – not even counting the lead in time and prep – of 12 hour days for the four weeks, with the responsibility of making sure those 150 kids get their HSC delivered, AND not go insane or crash out or something less dramatic but equally threatening to the delivery of the exams and my long term well-being.

So I declined. Which is the right choice. Given that even the 2-3 days, some half some full, I’ve been doing, with days off in between is more than enough for me. I’m thriving off doing it – I like being able to be responsible and capable and respected for my skills and being able to train and support other staff, but an unofficial 2ic role is more my speed than taking on the whole thing.

It means I can also still function outside of that – once I recover from the day of being “on” and do the other things I want and need to do to look after and be with myself and others I care for. Which some have needed more of lately. Which is all good, and I feel useful and closer to them for it. But again, balance and capacity need to be respected. And I need to be in charge of that for me because I know me best and can regulate me best.

tiny coloured ducks in a row — Are your ducks in a row?

Finding the balance of stubborn and holding my ground that actually serves me

At my last work place, I got quite angry when a senior worker said she’d been leaving a piece of rubbish behind a door to see how long it took for other staff to clean behind that door. I’m all “just tell them they need to pay more attention to that when they mop”. but no, they persisted with things like that.

I’m very much tell me what to do, tell me what I’m missing, it might not be obvious to me. Or, like some things, I might not actually notice that certain thing, at night, when my vision is at its worst.

So, why do I find myself getting stubborn when it comes to my stepkids and them not cleaning things? When Bee was with us they said they weren’t bringing out their rubbish all the time and that it would help to have a bin in their room. So I got a bin, and then they just filled it and left rubbish around it. Because there was the baby involved I really couldn’t leave it, and cracked it a few times and just cleaned everything when they were out of the house. But that was more extenuating circumstances, with child protection hovering around the edges.

How many times do I ask my stepson to bring out his dishes, to clean up after himself, before it’s reasonable to be irritated? Still in post-inspection mode, how did it take a day for there not be enough dishes in the kitchen for me to serve and make dinner how I like? I felt a little bitchy, but since I didn’t have to dishes to plate up for three, I didn’t and only served up for two and he could find his own dinner when he got home from work. That of course then leads to him using more dishes and me having to clean stuff ahead of the next meal I make. It’s not personal on him, it’s how it works with any person you share a space with, I remember in my first share house cracking it at someone who never cleaned up the cutting board.

We all have out own ways, and my ways surely irritate others. But right now I just have to strike the right balance of doing what needs to be done fore cleanliness and my sanity and not letting others walk over me whether that’s their intention or not.

A bit worse for wear. Woke up feeling all refluxy, got up and started gagging and made it to the bathroom for a spew. Ugh. So another day of pottering. I might find some basil for my Sim. I’ve been told it’s in a certain map, so I’ll head there and pick some for her to take to work to make the hot stuff potion. It’s good for what ails ya.

Housing Relief

Had the six-monthly rental inspection this morning. Spent the week cleaning since I found out about it, and it must have been fine because ~~I got an email offering us another 2 years lease (this was just 12 months to start with) with a $10 increase. So, yes, totally taking that offer up~~ lol it was a one year but still taking it and feeling relieved and going to collapse into a corner with the doggo who hung out with me all morning.

My stephdaughter is signing their first lease today on a place up in Tamworth with their bub, and my sister is exchanging contracts on a house in the suburb we grew up with in just under a month, so lots is going to settle for a bit… stepson’s girlfriend is pregnant and so that’ll be the next challenge, they’re also looking for a place together and saving up for what’s ahead.

So I get that mental settling for another could of years. They can increase the rent annually still but that’s not an concern til late next year anyway. I’m thinking of things I can do now to the place now I know I have another couple of years and in terms of settling into the neighbourhood…
In other news, the People Against Poverty Summit in November has been launched. Tickets are tiered. Facebook event here. I’ll have to organise getting up there etc, but it’ll be nice doing that knowing I won’t have a lease ending the next week! See you there?