The Yard Brewery and Smokehouse, Morriset


There’s been really inconsistent weather this summer, between super hot days and being rained out for a week, so when Bruce’s son is staying with us for a few days for work it sucks when they can’t really get much done. Instead, while it rained out Tuesday, Bruce took us to The Yard Brewery and Smokehouse in the industrial area at Morriset for lunch and a few drinks for the boys.

We got there at opening, and there’s a few different seating areas, low tables and bar stools and the mezzanine that I hope they relegate the hens nights to. It’s all very new, and not the only microbrewery in Morriset with Lake Mac Brewing Co and Bread and Brewery all within stumbling distance.

The boys each got a $17 tasting paddle, which they enjoyed and they bought a schooner each of something else after. I know, good beer review.

The boys each had a $22 Kransky dog which came with many toppings and fries. We were all very full!

I had a Haloumi burger and fries for $20. The mayo was amazing, the chips super crunchy!

They have merch and growlers, but they didn’t seem to be selling the dog bowl like they had in the courtyard. Not sure we’d bring Maxi on a sunnier day, he’s a bit too excited around food an people like that.

The Yard Brewery and Smokehouse 

32 Accolade Ave, Morisset NSW 2264

Open from 12pm Daily. Ph (02) 4072 3400

How being on the DSP has allowed me to stabilise my mental health

I was approved for the disability support pension about two years ago now. It wasn’t a straightforward process, and I was initially rejected, with my request for a review going through successfully without any more information from me. So, how has being on DSP improved my quality of life?

Slightly more money – the partnered DSP rate is currently $826.70 per fortnight, $140 more than the $686.00 I’d be getting on JobSeeker. (source DSS 2023) The difference for singles is more – $347.50 a fortnight extra to use to pay for the basics of life, costs which all agree are more with a disability – studies showing that you need at least 50% more disposable income to live with a disability in Australia. Not that any of the DSP gets to be disposable.

Getting off the Disability Employment Services radar – I’ve had a lot of exemptions from job searching in my time on payments, so for me this meant there was no looming date where I’d have to reengage with DES or have to get a correctly written medical certificate from my non-bulk billing doctor to have them waived again. This was a huge stress relief, not having to apply for jobs I wasn’t ready for, and not having to show up to fortnightly appointments to talk about how my life was falling apart this week and how a minimum wage cleaning job was clearly what I needed to fix my mental health.

Did you know under-35s on DSP have mutual obligations these days? Any disabled person who is failing to meet their “obligations” and getting cut of their payments is clearly being failed by the services that are supposed to be supporting them.

TIME and SPACE – time and space to do the therapies that I was already involved in. When I got DSP, I was doing 4 sessions a week of various therapies – individual and group – for borderline personality disorder and alcohol dependence. I could now just focus on these for awhile. So, I certainly wasn’t sitting at home on DSP, I was doing therapy in person and online, I was practicing getting out and about into the world again after a breakdown that coincided with Covid routine changes and added stresses. I’ve been sober 3 three years now, and certainly the support of having the DSP and not having to meet others expectations around employment have let me maintain that even amongst the rest of the chaos that life brings.

Time and space to figure me out and pursue my own interests and use my skills. I also started to learn the confidence to pace myself properly – I had a therapy goal that was basically following through on things I committed to. Which is two sided – both not chickening out with anxiety or low energy when it all gets too much, but also not letting it get to much – knowing my schedule, knowing how much and what sorts of things I can commit to and only pushing myself as far as I should go. Not saying yes because it’s expected of me, but giving things a go and seeing if they do spark joy. It’s amazing how much energy expenditure varies when you are following an interest!

Time and space to prioritise my “little routine”, allowing myself to see getting up and dressed or putting away the washing as an achievement, and being happy with my day. If I get my little routine together, if I do my chore, make my dinners, then I have more time and space mentally and practically to do more of the things that are generally seen as productive – supporting friends and family, writing and advocacy, maybe even doing a little bit of paid work here and there!

There’s so many goals I’m starting to see as achievable for myself after having this period of self-stability. It’s allowed me to try new things, put my hand up to do things I care about and feel are important, with the knowledge that I don’t have to meet someone else’s expectations to get paid each fortnight. I don’t know if I’ll make it back to earning enough to no longer get the pension, I’d love to do more, be more independent financially, actually have a disposable income, but I have time now. Time and space to dip in and out of the outside world as I can in a way that is of benefit to both myself and everyone else near and dear to me.

I’m certainly not “fixed”. I’m starting with a new psych, but being on DSP means that that would be prohibitively expensive if I hadn’t been able to get in with one that I can see for free for 10 sessions, but only on a Thursday and only from April. I also need to properly explore my neurodivergence, somehow find the energy and the money to get assessed for Autism and ADHD, especially if that would help me at all when it comes with getting even more okay with living in this world.

Just needed to breathe.

Superhuman

Laying in the back of your carI’ve been thinking ’bout the ways that I took it too farIn pursuit of perfection, I lost my directionAnd now I gotta reckon with the shame of tomorrowSee I always wanted more from the world, more from myselfPiling on the good times, high from the top shelf, yeah yeah
I heard that everybody’s got a limit, manI think I hit, cuz I’mCuz I’m onlyGuess I’m only
HumanDon’t know what we’re doin’Fight because we’re stupidLife we just abuse itCrying in confusionI know I just ruinEverything I worked for now I’m sitting all aloneGuess that makes me superhumanGuess that makes me superhumanGuess that makes me superGuess that makes me super
Sitting at the top of LALooking out at all the billboards and highwaysGuess I answered the question, I’m not the exceptionAnd now I gotta reckon with nobody to blameSee I thought that I could fly to the sun, never get burnedPride is a, pride is a motherfucker
I know that everybody’s got a limitAnd one day, you’re gonna hit it, cuz you’reCuz you’re onlyYea we’re only
HumanDon’t know what we’re doin’Fight because we’re stupidLife we just abuse itCrying in confusionI know I just ruinEverything I worked for now I’m sitting all aloneGuess that makes me superhuman
a storiis screenshot of a bottle of pills for Katherine Falrety
Always have to come down from an event from a gig. At least I didn’t get strep throat like K.Flay, at least my (out of date) RATs I’ve been doing since the show in Sydney have been negative. At least all my aches and pains and stuff don’t deem to be the Covid I’d resigned myself getting after sweating it out in from of the stage. I seem to have dodged that bullet, still a chance I’ve got it of course. Or something else, but I’m back to being concerned about the bloods and ECG I had last Tuesday and the results aren’t on my health record, but at least the Medicare bulk billing’s been done for them as of yesterday.
I must be highly suggestible, or I don’t notice things that might be wrong until they’re suggested to me? I’m been listening to my heart more, paranoid it’s out of sorts because it was suggested it might be. And maybe the irregular number of beats I was hearing when I was deaf from ear wax for three weeks is something to be concerned about. But then maybe it’s nothing, maybe any of my dizziness or shaking can come down to blood sugar and general blood pressure issues and I’ll just go in for my next lot of scripts and the new GP will say it’s all fine and dandy. I’m still hoping to bring down my antidepressant levels if I can, but I still feel like routine will help me more than that. But it’s hard to get routine when things keep breaking – one car’s going in for transmission work tomorrow, Bruce needs one for work, there’s been little things breaking on the Corolla too, the door handle, the speedo, the windscreen repairs not actually repairing but making the crack worse. Just feels like we’re chasing tails. And spending a lot of time and money buying part on eBay.
Not that keeping the AU would have been much better. I hope it’s working okay for the guy that bought it, and he enjoys it before the rust becomes too fatal. We keep hearing people doing skids nearby, but it’s never been him.
Nine days til the promised NBN install. Another reason not to get covid is I really don’t want to have to cancel that time, because it’d prolly be ANOTHER six weeks after that to get a tech booked in :/ Making my little plans. I really wanna do some streaming, both because I miss my little online games (GTA, Red Dead) and I do feel like that’s something I could get into properly if I even got sorted with a few things. So add me on Twitch so you can find out when I do go live and try o help me figure all that out again. I’ve been playing with my overlays and alerts ready to go too.
So I’m doing a lot of not much, not enough of what I want to be doing, but not sure what all that it. But I’ve probably going enough lines up for once I DO get proper internet, and if I start putting up for more it’s gonna be too much.
So day by day. It’s raining again.

Three Years Sober

Three years ago I have a week or so gap in my photo backups from when I was on ward after a 6 or so week relapse and trying to take myself out with meds. So yeah, haven’t had a drink since about this time 3 years ago. Been back on antabuse all that time, and not drinking and yeah, go me and all that.

It’s been a weird week, went to Sydney for Kflay on wednesday. Been waiting and anticipating for so long it was perfect and sweaty and I was up front, smooshed behind the people at the front. I wonder if I’ll regret smooshing and not wearing a mask but it was a great gig and like every gig I go to I crash hard afterward from the physical and mental exertion, the late night , the travel and the adrenalin. Let’s see if I brought home covid and I get to suffer through that. I’ll do my out of date tests every couple of days and see (I mean if I get it I’ll likely know without that) I wish you could still get drive through covid tests free. Or at least RATs in date.

Caught up with a friend, an ex, which was awkward and yeah, I don’t know, it’s hard to catch up with people.

Did the Antipoverty centre meeting, officially co-secretary and am pumped for the year ahead.

Waiting on blood test results from the tests my new GP ordered. I don’t really have reason to worry but I always worry. And want to get off to a good start with the new doc lol. There’s thing I wanna be able to bring up with her. Again nothing urgent but things I should.

Oh and I weighed less than I estimated at the pathologists. Cool. Now just to move more, I just want a routinnnnnnnnnnne

Anyway, send me presents and call me pretty:

Buymeacoffee.com/phonakins

Youpay.me/phonakins

http://throne.me/phonakins

paypal.me/phonakins

amazon.com.au/hz/wishlist/ls

store.steampowered.com/wishlist/profi

http://allmylinks.com/phonakins

 

 

Stares at a wall

Monday?

Taylor’s boyfriend looks scary.

Watchin Rafah, watching people ignore Gaza, wondering what that siren is in our street, apparently they’re looking for a man with face tattoos in Toronto.

Saw a new GP in the same practice. She seems good, sending me for tests, talking about my medication levels with me. Gotta get some bloods check my kidney and liver, an ECG for my heart to see if the mads are doing me more bad than good. See if my shakes have anything to do with that and a trippy heart.

Wasn’t bulk billed. $76 upfront, a woman apologising profusely for not being able to pay the other day, signs saying fees for late payment, and man yelling at the practice manager because they weren’t going to see him because he was owing money and shouldn’t have been rebooked in until it was settled. A growing line.

I did the grocery shopped and waited for my ride with the other pensioners outside woolies. More than a dollar a can for on special Diet Coke doesn’t sit right for me. But I’ll pay it. It’s my only real vice. But cadbury was $3 a block too so that was good.

Forgot bacon and mayo.

Oh well.