Category: mental health

When you have the Capability, but your Capacity screams “STOP!”

It’s okay, my capacity isn’t yet screaming at me to stop – I’ve been managing myself alright given the other things I’ve taken on. But the little twitch in my left eye this morning was telling me to slow down a little.

Ness often talks about the difference between having capability and having capacity (but damned if I can get my head around funding a good post on her blog or socials, let’s see if I can come back with one) in the context of work expectations, but also in what can be supported for disabled people.

Like, I was asked if I’d be presiding officer for the HSC exams at the school I’ve been supervising at for 2026. Yes, I have the skills needed. I might baulk at some of the people management stuff but I can do it. But I know I simply cannot sustain that level of work – not even counting the lead in time and prep – of 12 hour days for the four weeks, with the responsibility of making sure those 150 kids get their HSC delivered, AND not go insane or crash out or something less dramatic but equally threatening to the delivery of the exams and my long term well-being.

So I declined. Which is the right choice. Given that even the 2-3 days, some half some full, I’ve been doing, with days off in between is more than enough for me. I’m thriving off doing it – I like being able to be responsible and capable and respected for my skills and being able to train and support other staff, but an unofficial 2ic role is more my speed than taking on the whole thing.

It means I can also still function outside of that – once I recover from the day of being “on” and do the other things I want and need to do to look after and be with myself and others I care for. Which some have needed more of lately. Which is all good, and I feel useful and closer to them for it. But again, balance and capacity need to be respected. And I need to be in charge of that for me because I know me best and can regulate me best.

tiny coloured ducks in a row
Are your ducks in a row?

Just do the little things to stay sane so you can rage against the big ones

Content warnings – suicide, death, social murder

Just sorting out my meds this morning, making sure I’m ready for another week. Looking after me so I can look after me and then look after others.

rainbow day and night pill box

We lost another community member.

David’s death is at the hands of the politicians who talk about helping others but leave them in the gutter. That put maintaining the status quo of more investment properties for themselves and their mates over having a public housing safety net for all who need and want it. Who want to make sure that the NDIS is seen as tough and efficient but can’t get back to applicants with supports and then make them reapply all over again, but oh look there’s another barrier because a report is now out of date or their drivers license is expired and so they can’t make ID points.

I’m tired and angry and sick of all this and it doesn’t have to be this way but those in the powers that be in governments and social services keep it this way.

Like, is this a good news story from the weekend? Daniel was repeatedly and illegally cut off his meagre welfare payment, surviving off the small amount his father was able to give him to pay for his medications. Daniel was made homeless by an uncaring system that can’t even get his own processes right. Daniel is getting nearly three years back pay – but that is only $52k. And he held off revealing his story until that was paid because through fear it would be withheld by a system that’s known to dish dirt on the poor and vulnerable to protect its own image and keep its system working.

They have learned nothing from Robodebt except that they can get away with it. That Daniel and David will be blips on their radars, that no matter whether it’s the red or blue team they can sweep them aside and keep their jobs or move into better ones. Royal commissions and NACC mean shit when Scotty’s got a new job and Bill Shortens robot got binned but people are still out there dying because the “Welfare” system doesn’t care about the welfare of the worst off.

A screenshot of a news article from the Sound Telegraph by Ava Berryman, dated Wednesday, 15 October 2025.The headline reads: "New SecondBite charity warehouse helps The Crew feed more locals suffering from food insecurity."The main image is a photograph showing a person in a high-visibility vest holding a cardboard box filled with fresh produce, including lettuce and red onions. The box has the SecondBite logo on the side with the tagline: "Ending Waste. Ending Hunger."The caption under the image states: "A new charity warehouse helps feed more hungry locals. Credit: Supplied"The text from the article snippet reads:"The launch of a new $2000 \text{sqm}$ warehouse in Kewdale could see about 20 million more meals per year provided to those in need through the help of one of Australia's leading food rescue organisations, SecondBite.The warehouse will help tackle food insecurity head on, with a goal to increase the amount of food rescued in WA by one million kilograms per year over the next two to three years."

Kylea Tink is Foodbank’s new CEO. You may remember her as a teal independent, but now she’s pretending to make a difference by expanding the amount governments and individuals spend on food relief – on the food itself, on the warehouses, the trucks, the fundraisers and the branding. Oh the branding. She joins former NSW Premier John Robertson who’s the NSW CEO. Because we need multiple layers of CEOs.

They’ll put out press releases about how many are going hungry and how you too cold help out by giving their particular organisation (or OzHarvest, or Second Bite) money to fund x amount of meals or a food hamper. These press releases rarely mention that this poverty is manufactured by supermarkets that would rather over order and over change and feel good donating excess stocks than running their businesses at slightly less profit but still making a motsa and not creating food waste. Or the politicians that give another grant for another warehouse, another charity another photo opp to support the needy, but could lift so many out of this situation with a nimble piece of legislation that lifts welfare payments above the poverty line. Or at all levels buying and building public housing (States and Federal and even local councils) so that people can be immediately housed rather than renting hovels through layers of community housing providers that don’t provide guarantees of tenure.

Poverty has risen over the three years of a Labor government, and people are dying. People are dying because they’re being left behind. They’re not able to afford to feed themselves properly or to attend to their health care – people can’t afford to go to the doctor or to buy the meds their need to stay healthy. NDIS is cutting supports that are working for people while telling us that no, noone’s losing supports and here we are losing our minds. Being house should be a given but relying on the private market when public housing has ten year wait lists and crisis accommodation is two weeks in a seedy mote with a dozen others at the worst points in their lives is certainly not helping anyone.

It’s a thousand straws on each camels back, and they all carry so much weight. People can’t do it alone but too many are forced to. And they struggle on and if they get the hand their need to make it through they just might. Is that hand going to be on a case by case basis from and for an individual or will our governments actually step up to provide the supports that people need? To everyone?

So I’m going to take my meds that I’m blessed to be able to afford and  stay strong for myself so that I can look after myself so I can look after others.

In terms of mental health numbers, in NSW I’ve found the mental health helpline useful for support for myself and others. There are other services and ideas listed on that page. Lifeline also has sms and online crisis chat in certain hours as well as the usual phone – 13 11 14.

The impact of a livable welfare safety net on this World Mental Health Day

I’ve written plenty before about how different aspects of Australia’s public health care and social welfare systems have helped or hindered my mental health. Getting DSP was a huge factor in being able to stabilise my mental health. Not because of the extra money – My partner rate of DSP is $888.50 a fortnight before rent assistance (singles get $1,178.70), while jobseeker is $726.50/$793.60 without supplements, but because I get to know that I’ll have a steady amount coming in each fortnight, that I’ll be able to pick up work for extra money as it suits me without losing the payment, and I don’t have to jump through the hoops of Job “providers” anymore.

We have data here in Australia that suicides dropped when people were getting the COVID supplement (welfare at the poverty line) and there was less requirements to engage in useless mutual obligations. Internationally – Brazil gave poor people money and their suicide level dropped too.

We hear of the futility of giving people therapy when they don’t have stable housing, when they can’t afford their meds, when they’re harassed by external pressures.

I could only complete the DBT block I did because I didn’t have mutual obligations or a job, it WAS a full time job fore me, even though it was “only” two sessions a week. The amount of energy I had to put into that to make it work and then to carry out the work in my own life left little for other things.

Participants in the DES and CDP systems – being renamed to Inclusive Employment Australia and Remote Australia Employment Service (RAES) respectively will be getting a reprieve from mutual obligations until new year while those services change over to their new programs, logos and contracted providers. But JobSeekers in mainstream services will have to keep jumping through hoops, even though there’s more and more evidence of people being suspended from their payments illegally or incorrectly, and little desire for the government of the day to address it.

Cancellations of payments have been suspended but that doesn’t mean much when you still could find your bank account empty on payday due to error – whether it’s through incompetence, malice or system design. Not good for the mental health I’d say.

Getting to sign a new least for another 12 months on this house, even though it was a $40/week rent increase, lifted another weight that I didn’t know I was carrying. And even though the inspection this week came after the lease was sign, there was still that weight of hoping that we’d cleaned well enough, that the preexisting damage wouldn’t be blamed on us. That having another person living here but not on the lease wasn’t gonna be a strike on our record.

Albanese is bragging about the 2 million visits to the urgent care clinics. Which, as I always say, have their place. But don’t take the place of having access to a bulk-billing GP (lol there’s none here) who knows you and can provide continuity of care. ESPECIALLY for those who need it most. The GPs in this area charge $100 upfront ($80 with a concession card). I really doubt that many at all will be changing to all bulk billing come November First when the extra incentives come in. We’ll see though. My GP DID bulk me last visit, but that was probably because I was near tears about a few things including talking about how one of my meds is $95 a month and not on the PBS. Which I need to not feel guilty about – every time I post something about GPs not bulk billing people encourage me to ask to be bulk billed, but then there’s the flip side of GPs posting about how they hate to be asked, and my belief that the Medicare payments should be raised to a level where all practices are able to viably bulk bill all patients. Such a socialist.

So as we make the rapid run to Xmas, I’m relieved to have signed a lease through to November next year, am doing a couple days HSC exam supervision for the next month, and feel settled again after a few months that just kept throwing things at me.

What little things are you doing for yourself to stay sane, because we can’t rely on the government to do them?

 

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A thousand days – How’s the social cohesion?

A thousand days. A thousand days of the Albanese Labor government.

Have we been at all surprised, pleasantly or unpleasantly with Labor? I remember when they won the election in 2022 the nurse at my mental health and substance use program commenting that I must be happy with the result. I told her I was skeptical and we’ll see what happens.

The image shows a screenshot of a tweet from an account with the handle @PeterKhalilMP. The tweet is timestamped at 6:59 PM on June 21st. It contains a message that reads, “You will have to wait and see hope you are pleasantly surprised.” The text is in English, and there are no images or other visual elements included in the tweet. The account has a verified checkmark next to its name, indicating it is an official account.

Pleasantly, I’ve remained sober for that time, even the last few months since I stopped attending the support group and stopped taking Antabuse – the little drug that basically makes you allergic to alcohol and if you drink you literally feel like you’re dying. So that’s pleasant.

We’ve had a few changes in living arrangements, including having a baby in the house for 6 months while the stepkid lived with us at short notice. They seem to be going alright with their new independence, getting their own rental with bub has been great for them, even if the chaos surrounding and leading up to that was hard for everyone to deal with.

Got the other stepkid with us now. Generally life is quiet, though I’ve been busy with social media and other stuff working on the People Against Poverty Summit and associated stuff, along with the upcoming election. A sweetheart bought me a new chair from my wishlist, and I’ve been optimising my desk setup so it’s nice to be at my desk. Unfortunately we’re still down a car so I’m not getting out much, might end up borrowing one from a friend who seems to be up one, while my partner works on his.

Purple desk chair

Pacing myself is hard to relearn as I’ve picking up tasks, I’m noticing what wears me out, what’s easy to bounce back from, and what means I should probably just make a cup of hot chocolate and chill in front of old South Park. It’s amazingly nerve wracking at times putting myself out there.

I’m still actually saving for my assessment, putting something away each week, some from my pension and some from the paid work I’ve got doing socials for activisty things. Just enough so I hopefully don’t notice it and it slowly builds up without me knowing and later this year I’ll be ready to book something in and decide how exactly I want to approach it and what I want to get out of it.

Take care of you x

You know some things just make you wanna scream but you’re tired?

CW Suicide and self harm etc

People are doing amazing work out there. The Antipoverty Centre filed their submission to the national Suicide Prevention Strategy. And it’s good. And you’ll read it and nod your head at the content and shake your head at the lack of action from governments and lip service from supposed support organisations. It’s here. There’s facts and stats and stories and it’s all there, screaming to governments to Rise the Rate of Welfare and build public housing and get rid of partner income tests to help people to get out of abusive situations and have independence within relationships. Agency is important and people are feeling helpless and are driven to despair. And suicide is certainly a more appealing option for some that continuing in a punitive welfare situation.

Thankyou for putting that together. And for acknowledging the frustration that people are experiencing with telling their stories over and over and pleading for the dignity of being listened to, when 2.5 years into government, they decide not to respond to the DSP inquiry since it’s been so damned long since the recommendations were made, which is certainly not one of the principles of TREATING PEOPLE WITH RESPECT that was recommended.

meanwhile, apparently social security debts from the seventies are fair game, even though 6 years was said to be plenty long back to expect people to defend debts. But you know, why respect the recommendations from millions of dollars and thousands or hours of paid and unpaid work by experts and lawyers and people on the ground. Fuck us, right?

It’s more than two years since that qanda episode where I got to ask about our dear Treasurer when things might get better, and really nothing has changed. Rent keeps going up, as does every other cost, including out of pocket GP expenses and more. But yeah. Go red team?

I’ve had to put some boundaries in place to help manage my sanity, I’m going to respect my bedtime and meds times more, even if that means other people have to do more for themselves.

 

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