Apparently it’s 34 days til Xmas!! Don’t @ me for putting up my Xmas so early, it’s later than the last couple of years! I made a time with my sister and the two youngest nephews to come over and help with the tree and decorating. That was yesterday, and it was a fun long day.
The putting up of the Christmas tree means I also started wearing my Xmas clothes and earrings. Not shoes yet but tomorrow! I have skirts and tunic tops and dresses and two pairs of shoes from Rainbows and Fairies (we did the shoot for the new Xmas print Santa’s house on Tuesday and those photos have gone up!
My teeshirts are pretty much all from TeeTurtle and the earrings are from Indifferent Avocado, Burnbella and various other online places over the years.
I haven’t put my outdoor lights out yet – it was super windy yesterday and the inflatable tree and Santa tried to leave, but when that dies down I’ll string up fairy lights outside with them and the meerkats! i was very restrained on the weekend and didn’t buy two more from Woolies , but if you want to add to the #CultOfTheMeerkat, you can via my throne :p
Christmas also means summer and it looks like lotsa boat rides in Bruce new tinny!
oh, hai there. I’m Fiona. You may now know me now as the woman on Q+A with $20 who looked pained at Jim Chalmer’s response to her question about how those on fixed incomes like the disability pension are supposed to make choices between food and medicine (seriously, I better pay that chemist bill as soon as I get this posted – my Webster paks are a lifesaver both literally and metaphorically)… Why are we the ones having to suffer now to keep inflation in check?
My questions and his non-answer:
Jim Chalmers spruiked the simplicity of his first budget, but as the price of items rises faster than the rate of welfare – is it really ‘bread and butter’ for struggling households? #QandApic.twitter.com/p0eECVajlR
So, it’s taken me a good couple of days to recover from the trip down to Sydney – got the shuttle bus the ABC organised from Broadmeadow station at 5pm with 20 others, we got there around 7:30, then went through screening, I got handed my question on a card and was told that I was the second question and that like I had spoken to the girl on the phone about, Stan would be asking me followups and she and her chatted about my situation and such a couple of times on the phone in the previous days.
It was a bumpy ride, but to my relief a fellow local Greens member and his mate were also on the bus, so I could chat to them and calm my nerves about the whole process. And we got a photo with our idols in the foyer.
We went in around 8pm, I got a microphone attached to me. There was a warm up stand up comic. The questioners were all run through to make sure they got our names right etc, and I was SUPER excited to see that a teacher that I often had in primary school Mrs Turner was there!
Jim Chalmers credits a high school history teacher for changing the course of his life. He says Australia needs to find ways to value teachers more, and retain them better. #QandApic.twitter.com/6ivnvolpft
I didn’t expect a real answer from Jim, just as I didn’t expect Labor to raise welfare since they walked back their promises and demands that they had in opposition in the lead up to the election they just won. Basically they promised us nothing and we should be grateful for that!
— Avery Howard 🏳️⚧️🏳️🌈 (they/he) (@AveryHowardAU) July 2, 2021
So, back to why you’re here? After my triumphant non-answer getting on Q+A i called home to Bruce to scream into the void and get his reaction and love. Which I got. And a request for burgers on the way home, to which I lol’d “Yeah I can spend my $20 on that!” he laughed and said, don’t worry about it but then I wanted burgers, and given the rough trip back, chatting with the young liberals and eating lollies and pretzels at dinner, I totally needed those burgers by the time I was back in Tronno at 1am!
So, to all the Daily Mail commenters who commented on my food choices and my fatness, yeah, I had midnight Maccas with that $20 that PureProfile surveys had credited me during the trip down (another DM commenter had suggested them too, don’t worry, I’ve been doing them for 20 years). It was the best Big Mac I’d had in a long time, the chips were salty and fresh, like me, and I needed something in my belly because I needed to be up at 7am to get to my usual Friday appointments of pickup up FoodBank and Ozharvest to share with my sister (and much free bread because there was non in the budget for us) and then to my Antabuse rehab group where we discussed what we like about our sober selves. 20 months sober my friends!
Yeah, I’m fat. And yeah I could exercise more to lose weight, but I’m glad I’m not the bulimic, exercise obsessed skinny girl I once was, 2 hours at the gym a day, running 5kms to quiet her mine. My blood tests are always showing I’m in pretty good health considering, and while I’ve been on seroquel I’ve not been anywhere near skinny. I’m mentally pretty good at the moment, and working on my mental health and life goals, while being a good human being. Looking after myself and my family and friends and being sober and safe. Financially, I’m not making any headway, but I don’t have a credit card to go into debt on, and so long as I can pay my rent and smile, I’ll be okay. Also, so long as the politicians have a food allowance that is five times the daily JobSeeker payment, don’t police our food choices, mmkay?
So, it’s been a big few days. Glad to be home with my boys and love my family, friends and twitter crew to death. Sent Bruce off this morning to work in his little tinny, and I’ve been a good housewife, doing dishes and washing and earning my keep while rolling marbles on Twitch. I also played some Scotty Goes to Centrelink (The Albo Update) earlier, and will probably go another round soon!
Please, if you also feel that it’s ridiculous that in Australia people on welfare payments are deliberately kept below the poverty line, sign this petition to parliament to have the rate of all welfare payments raised to above the Henderson Poverty line which is currently $88 a day. The petition is an official parliamentary one so you’ll need to click the verification link in your email when it comes through to complete the process.
OMG how did I make it through my 30s? It really wasn’t looking too optimistic there for awhile.
So, here’s a birthday photo dump, and some rambling and thought and whatever it may be.
Firstly, I got some AMAZING new cat ears handmade, hand felted, by Suzanne aka Satan Herself. She’s a wonderful Twitter friend who is trying to get herself out of the clutches of Centrelink by starting a felting art business, making all sorts of clothing and bits and pieces and SHOES and HATS and cat ears now. These are her prototype ears, and I LOVE them and will pimp them to death when she gets her shop set up!
I drank this lovely de-alcoholised Brown Brothers Prosecco I’d purchased from Sans Drinks for election night (but the order arrived a week after!). Lovely and light on the tongue, didn’t interfere with the Antabuse tablets either 🙂 Party!
Speaking of Antabuse, I stuck to my regular Friday morning routine, collecting OzHarvest fresh fruit and veg and assorted breads from the food bank to share with my sister – I’m glad I can eat gluten these days! There was also a bag of pies and sandwiches and the like. More importantly though, I’ve not had alcohol since Feb 2021, so I’m on a 17 month streak, with some good sober time over the last three and a half years. It feels good, and sobriety is working well for me. I get to be more useful and reliable and present and so on. It’s great. I have to say I’m looking forward to life and things again. Even without “real” red wine.
Bruce and I went to dinner at Mizumi (which I now know means “Lake”) here in Toronto. We ordered the usual takoyaki, and went for the Mizumi sashimi platter. OMG that was amazing! Fresh and tasty and noms. Only problem was that I prefer my sashimi after it’s warmed up a little, and this came as a ice basket as you’ll see in the photo. But AMAZING nonetheless.
How good is that?
(yes, I booked under Sienna, yes it’s because I phoned up and couldn’t be bothered correcting her when she said it back to me. Often get Sienna)
Another birthday present I got was the new phone I’ve been using for a month now. The Xiaomi 11 Lite 5GNE (that’s a lot of terms). Bruce ordered it for me at a super awesome price and I’ve been getting used to it, but here’s the first night mode photo I’ve taken because I’m slack and didn’t use the function til he nagged me the other night:
The beauty of Toronto Boulevarde by night…
So I had a lovely birthday, out in the real world. Plus, I also had a bit of a party on my Animal Crossing island!
My friend code for switch is SW-0541-2956-7407. Add me and come to my next shindig!
Saturday was my birthday party – lollies and cake and kids in the backyard 🙂 Such fun! Got a new Fitbit from my parents, the old one had a crack screen after 7 years, it was time. Spent the last of a few giftcards I had at woolies on lollies hehe
Still working our way through the cake – a $30 buy from Costco, with fluffy chocolate and rainbow icing!
Some of you internet sweethearts have spoiled me too with items from my wishlist and gift cards and birthday money through PayPal and buymeacoffee. Thank you so very much! I got the bread knife I needed and Diet Coke is always appreciated.
I have some onesies on the way from onesies downunder and a Shein order full of Care Bears stuff!!!
Welcome to phonakins.com, the year I turn 40, 20 years after I registered my old domain, and entering a what feels like new phase of my life.
I wanted to have my own space again. A personal blog, and food blog, a place for political and mental health essays, fashion shoots or whatever it is that’s going on in my brain and life and wherever this personality of mine has decided to focus its attention and talents.
I want to just write and feel like my words are meaningful. I feel stuck in a little hole, looking out, but I’m not even that profound. I listen to the lyrics of K.Flay, I know I won’t have the articulatory skills to rap like her, but her words call to me, they make sense, I want to make words and sentences and rhymes and phrases like her. Call on my life and experience and knowledge and contribute something. But I see it as selfish and futile, or maybe not maybe I’m just talking shit.
This week in therapy we’re meant to be looking at looking after ourselves, setting up for a good time through diet and exercise and rest, and taking your meds and not mind altering substances. I can see where they’re coming from, but I hate focusing on those things, I get stubborn, I get wilful as they say. Eat right, and then I decide that icecream is my next meal. I’m still scared of focussing on weight loss, on exercise on diet, scared I’ll be successful and get back to that slim frame but be too obsessive about it, be to hyper focussed. I should probably raise that with my psych. Probably.
I’m doing another shoot with Rainbows and fairies this week, I’ll try to be more relaxed and more confident lol. I need to get my eyebrows and other face waxing done, and I need to buy a beige bra, like a proper bra with structure and not the crop tops I usually wear and am wearing now.
Watching snippets of Kflay and Gflip’s gigs in the states, wishing I was there. Wishing I was out dancing and sweating and singing and being alive. I tried to not get covid, I really did. It didn’t work. I want to go out and play, but I’m stuck here. Stuck home trying to get myself to do the basics, put out the washing, clean the dishes, shave my legs. Looking forward to the cooler weather of autumn, to starting the interpersonal effectiveness DBT module, hoping I can do some of that therapy in person soon. Before another few months pass of being at home. I want to catch the train into therapy, I want to buy coffee and look at the beach. I want to arrange to see people for one off coffees, I doubt a regular thing, but just a one off, dumplings, coffee, something.
Feb 22
What’s on this week?
individual therapy Monday morning, should raise the PLESAE stuff, the eating, the taking care of health, the hard conversation I had with Bruce where I remember how hard being around a drunk me is. How that puts everything through another lens.
Do the beauty stuff, the waxing, the bra buying.
Tuesday night I’m starting an online things with Ausgrid. a panel that runs for months and they give me $1000 for at the end. Watch me shape the future or soemthing.
Wednesday is the Rainbows and Fairies shoot, Thursday group again, the last with one of the other women who I’m going to miss, the group is going to more than double to 8 patients the week after, which will be hard on teams. It would be better in person for sure.
Friday apparently Centrelink is calling again, even though they did last Friday, and my next appointment was supposed to be months away. Oh well.. Just answer, don’t get cut off. Go to my antabuse group online. Arrange to speak with my care coordinator next week, I need to start planning with her for the future.
it feels like a lot and I realise when I’m allowed the exemption from Centrelink and why they’re considering giving me DSP. That’s in a review stage. So maybe.
