Tag: suicide

Just do the little things to stay sane so you can rage against the big ones

Content warnings – suicide, death, social murder

Just sorting out my meds this morning, making sure I’m ready for another week. Looking after me so I can look after me and then look after others.

rainbow day and night pill box

We lost another community member.

David’s death is at the hands of the politicians who talk about helping others but leave them in the gutter. That put maintaining the status quo of more investment properties for themselves and their mates over having a public housing safety net for all who need and want it. Who want to make sure that the NDIS is seen as tough and efficient but can’t get back to applicants with supports and then make them reapply all over again, but oh look there’s another barrier because a report is now out of date or their drivers license is expired and so they can’t make ID points.

I’m tired and angry and sick of all this and it doesn’t have to be this way but those in the powers that be in governments and social services keep it this way.

Like, is this a good news story from the weekend? Daniel was repeatedly and illegally cut off his meagre welfare payment, surviving off the small amount his father was able to give him to pay for his medications. Daniel was made homeless by an uncaring system that can’t even get his own processes right. Daniel is getting nearly three years back pay – but that is only $52k. And he held off revealing his story until that was paid because through fear it would be withheld by a system that’s known to dish dirt on the poor and vulnerable to protect its own image and keep its system working.

They have learned nothing from Robodebt except that they can get away with it. That Daniel and David will be blips on their radars, that no matter whether it’s the red or blue team they can sweep them aside and keep their jobs or move into better ones. Royal commissions and NACC mean shit when Scotty’s got a new job and Bill Shortens robot got binned but people are still out there dying because the “Welfare” system doesn’t care about the welfare of the worst off.

A screenshot of a news article from the Sound Telegraph by Ava Berryman, dated Wednesday, 15 October 2025.The headline reads: "New SecondBite charity warehouse helps The Crew feed more locals suffering from food insecurity."The main image is a photograph showing a person in a high-visibility vest holding a cardboard box filled with fresh produce, including lettuce and red onions. The box has the SecondBite logo on the side with the tagline: "Ending Waste. Ending Hunger."The caption under the image states: "A new charity warehouse helps feed more hungry locals. Credit: Supplied"The text from the article snippet reads:"The launch of a new $2000 \text{sqm}$ warehouse in Kewdale could see about 20 million more meals per year provided to those in need through the help of one of Australia's leading food rescue organisations, SecondBite.The warehouse will help tackle food insecurity head on, with a goal to increase the amount of food rescued in WA by one million kilograms per year over the next two to three years."

Kylea Tink is Foodbank’s new CEO. You may remember her as a teal independent, but now she’s pretending to make a difference by expanding the amount governments and individuals spend on food relief – on the food itself, on the warehouses, the trucks, the fundraisers and the branding. Oh the branding. She joins former NSW Premier John Robertson who’s the NSW CEO. Because we need multiple layers of CEOs.

They’ll put out press releases about how many are going hungry and how you too cold help out by giving their particular organisation (or OzHarvest, or Second Bite) money to fund x amount of meals or a food hamper. These press releases rarely mention that this poverty is manufactured by supermarkets that would rather over order and over change and feel good donating excess stocks than running their businesses at slightly less profit but still making a motsa and not creating food waste. Or the politicians that give another grant for another warehouse, another charity another photo opp to support the needy, but could lift so many out of this situation with a nimble piece of legislation that lifts welfare payments above the poverty line. Or at all levels buying and building public housing (States and Federal and even local councils) so that people can be immediately housed rather than renting hovels through layers of community housing providers that don’t provide guarantees of tenure.

Poverty has risen over the three years of a Labor government, and people are dying. People are dying because they’re being left behind. They’re not able to afford to feed themselves properly or to attend to their health care – people can’t afford to go to the doctor or to buy the meds their need to stay healthy. NDIS is cutting supports that are working for people while telling us that no, noone’s losing supports and here we are losing our minds. Being house should be a given but relying on the private market when public housing has ten year wait lists and crisis accommodation is two weeks in a seedy mote with a dozen others at the worst points in their lives is certainly not helping anyone.

It’s a thousand straws on each camels back, and they all carry so much weight. People can’t do it alone but too many are forced to. And they struggle on and if they get the hand their need to make it through they just might. Is that hand going to be on a case by case basis from and for an individual or will our governments actually step up to provide the supports that people need? To everyone?

So I’m going to take my meds that I’m blessed to be able to afford and  stay strong for myself so that I can look after myself so I can look after others.

In terms of mental health numbers, in NSW I’ve found the mental health helpline useful for support for myself and others. There are other services and ideas listed on that page. Lifeline also has sms and online crisis chat in certain hours as well as the usual phone – 13 11 14.

You know some things just make you wanna scream but you’re tired?

CW Suicide and self harm etc

People are doing amazing work out there. The Antipoverty Centre filed their submission to the national Suicide Prevention Strategy. And it’s good. And you’ll read it and nod your head at the content and shake your head at the lack of action from governments and lip service from supposed support organisations. It’s here. There’s facts and stats and stories and it’s all there, screaming to governments to Rise the Rate of Welfare and build public housing and get rid of partner income tests to help people to get out of abusive situations and have independence within relationships. Agency is important and people are feeling helpless and are driven to despair. And suicide is certainly a more appealing option for some that continuing in a punitive welfare situation.

Thankyou for putting that together. And for acknowledging the frustration that people are experiencing with telling their stories over and over and pleading for the dignity of being listened to, when 2.5 years into government, they decide not to respond to the DSP inquiry since it’s been so damned long since the recommendations were made, which is certainly not one of the principles of TREATING PEOPLE WITH RESPECT that was recommended.

meanwhile, apparently social security debts from the seventies are fair game, even though 6 years was said to be plenty long back to expect people to defend debts. But you know, why respect the recommendations from millions of dollars and thousands or hours of paid and unpaid work by experts and lawyers and people on the ground. Fuck us, right?

It’s more than two years since that qanda episode where I got to ask about our dear Treasurer when things might get better, and really nothing has changed. Rent keeps going up, as does every other cost, including out of pocket GP expenses and more. But yeah. Go red team?

I’ve had to put some boundaries in place to help manage my sanity, I’m going to respect my bedtime and meds times more, even if that means other people have to do more for themselves.

 

Do you find my posts interesting? Please share them and consider supporting my efforts with a one-off or monthly dono.

Black Dog Institute Summit on Self-Harm #BDISummit

Pretty obviously there’s a content note about this post for suicide and self-harm

Thanks to Livingworks, I received a bursary to attend the Black Dog Institute Summit on Self Harm in Sydney last week. It was a huge day, starting with catching the 4.51am train down, so I’ll reflect on it with prompting from the posts under the #BDISummit hashtag…

The day before, most of the experts had been at a summit organised by the Lancet on putting together the research from around the world on self-harm and suicide statistics, themes and prevention. Lots of British accents, but also people from around the world. There were people researching self harm in lower and middle income countries and how the reasons for, means, and intentions vary from high-income countries. There were also Indigenous perspectives and reminding us that all the basics, like income above the poverty line, less traumatic emergency department experiences, and compassion in general lead to such great results.

Conference mode means mentos and apparently these fancy glasses that I was so tempted to smuggle out but I was good and stuck to perishables like a banana for breakfast the next day and few tea bags.

Emergency and Inpatient Departments are not fit for purpose

Nearly everyone who has gone to the emergency department feeling suicidal or having self harmed in some way has had one or more bad experiences. If you had a good experience, that is amazing and you probably went on to seek and get treatment and didn’t end up back there. If you do survived the assessment in an unsuitable place without excusing yourself, you face a super long wait for any outpatient therapy, or if you end up in inpatient it can also be a very scary, far from healing experience :/

What use is giving CBT to someone in poverty? 

Well, given the long waiting lists that psychologists have in Australia, the huge gap you’re up for in most instances if you do get in to see someone, we’re not even at the point of being able to see what a good block of therapy can do while someone is subsisting on welfare in this country. Personally I was fortunate enough to do my block f DBT but I wouldn’t have gotten into that if I hadn’t been at the point of self harming and having the right diagnosis, and surviving the year you need to before the program commences. I have too many friends on Twitter (whose demise is distresses for many who have it as their lifeline quite literally when it comes to seeking emotional and financial support)  who saw their mental health stablise when JobSeeker was above the poverty line and mutual obligations were suspended and they were just left to be by a system that is designed to make money for providers without having to give outcomes to “participants”. argh.

Lived and LIVING experience

Interesting discussion at the podium and in the breaks about living experience of self harm and the validity of being able to live a meaningful life while still self-harming. But differentiating this from the person who appears to be well, who is going about their right daily activities, but s struggling or suffering privately. There was discussion around “protecting” the lived experience workforce from further harm as well as allowing those who are participating in research or work to be able to identify for themselves whether they are currently well enough to take part – like me coming to the summit that day and being able to identify if I needed to tap out, or knowing that I would be worn out in the following days from the experience, whether that is just from the early start, social and masking spoons used, or form any more emotional energy from such a heavy topic.

Last of all, what’s an event post with me without the food?

Breakfast was served during the initial session, with mueslie and yoghurt, and mini big breakfast (thankfully without eggs) coming to the table with pots of coffee.

Raspberry and banana bread and fresh fruit at morning tea, along with a nice cold iced tea.

There was hot food at lunch, but I had a couple of chicken rolls and some Greek Salad. I took a couple of rolls for the train ride home for dinner along with some of the fruit at morning tea.

Chocolate slices for afternoon tea – a very sense brownie for me with a little more coffee for the afternoon roll home.

Nice swift train and tram ride home – I wasn’t murdered in the dingy Star casino light rail station which was a relief!

Where to from here? I watched part of a webinar from Lived Experience Australia on how to become a peer worker on Monday, but it was the basic things like do the course and network and find out where you really want to use your skills… And I kinda know that. I also know that I looked up the peer worker course that TAFE NSW runs and immediately realised I don’t yet want to commit to formal study, and so won’t even apply for anything for first semester next year if at all. Maybe 2024. I’m finding that one external engagement outside my own appointments and anything that I take my niblings to is more than enough currently, like the summit, or a modelling day, or a Greens event. And I want to keep doing that stuff. I also don’t know if peer work as such is for me, but I’m glad being a researcher with lived experience of self harm was also modelled at the summit.

And I was also so very excited that on the same day, my blogging buddy Trae was presenting at a conference over in Perth alongside Grace Tame as someone with lived experience of mental illness. Recovery is so cool. But also seeing and hearing my friends and myself thrive after so many years surviving.