Tag: family

When you have the Capability, but your Capacity screams “STOP!”

It’s okay, my capacity isn’t yet screaming at me to stop – I’ve been managing myself alright given the other things I’ve taken on. But the little twitch in my left eye this morning was telling me to slow down a little.

Ness often talks about the difference between having capability and having capacity (but damned if I can get my head around funding a good post on her blog or socials, let’s see if I can come back with one) in the context of work expectations, but also in what can be supported for disabled people.

Like, I was asked if I’d be presiding officer for the HSC exams at the school I’ve been supervising at for 2026. Yes, I have the skills needed. I might baulk at some of the people management stuff but I can do it. But I know I simply cannot sustain that level of work – not even counting the lead in time and prep – of 12 hour days for the four weeks, with the responsibility of making sure those 150 kids get their HSC delivered, AND not go insane or crash out or something less dramatic but equally threatening to the delivery of the exams and my long term well-being.

So I declined. Which is the right choice. Given that even the 2-3 days, some half some full, I’ve been doing, with days off in between is more than enough for me. I’m thriving off doing it – I like being able to be responsible and capable and respected for my skills and being able to train and support other staff, but an unofficial 2ic role is more my speed than taking on the whole thing.

It means I can also still function outside of that – once I recover from the day of being “on” and do the other things I want and need to do to look after and be with myself and others I care for. Which some have needed more of lately. Which is all good, and I feel useful and closer to them for it. But again, balance and capacity need to be respected. And I need to be in charge of that for me because I know me best and can regulate me best.

tiny coloured ducks in a row
Are your ducks in a row?

Finding the balance of stubborn and holding my ground that actually serves me

At my last work place, I got quite angry when a senior worker said she’d been leaving a piece of rubbish behind a door to see how long it took for other staff to clean behind that door. I’m all “just tell them they need to pay more attention to that when they mop”. but no, they persisted with things like that.

I’m very much tell me what to do, tell me what I’m missing, it might not be obvious to me. Or, like some things, I might not actually notice that certain thing, at night, when my vision is at its worst.

So, why do I find myself getting stubborn when it comes to my stepkids and them not cleaning things? When Bee was with us they said they weren’t bringing out their rubbish all the time and that it would help to have a bin in their room. So I got a bin, and then they just filled it and left rubbish around it. Because there was the baby involved I really couldn’t leave it, and cracked it a few times and just cleaned everything when they were out of the house. But that was more extenuating circumstances, with child protection hovering around the edges.

How many times do I ask my stepson to bring out his dishes, to clean up after himself, before it’s reasonable to be irritated? Still in post-inspection mode, how did it take a day for there not be enough dishes in the kitchen for me to serve and make dinner how I like? I felt a little bitchy, but since I didn’t have to dishes to plate up for three, I didn’t and only served up for two and he could find his own dinner when he got home from work. That of course then leads to him using more dishes and me having to clean stuff ahead of the next meal I make. It’s not personal on him, it’s how it works with any person you share a space with, I remember in my first share house cracking it at someone who never cleaned up the cutting board.

We all have out own ways, and my ways surely irritate others. But right now I just have to strike the right balance of doing what needs to be done fore cleanliness and my sanity and not letting others walk over me whether that’s their intention or not.

A bit worse for wear. Woke up feeling all refluxy, got up and started gagging and made it to the bathroom for a spew. Ugh. So another day of pottering. I might find some basil for my Sim. I’ve been told it’s in a certain map, so I’ll head there and pick some for her to take to work to make the hot stuff potion. It’s good for what ails ya.

Housing Relief

Had the six-monthly rental inspection this morning. Spent the week cleaning since I found out about it, and it must have been fine because I got an email offering us another 2 years lease (this was just 12 months to start with) with a $10 increase. So, yes, totally taking that offer up lol it was a one year but still taking it and feeling relieved and going to collapse into a corner with the doggo who hung out with me all morning.


My stephdaughter is signing their first lease today on a place up in Tamworth with their bub, and my sister is exchanging contracts on a house in the suburb we grew up with in just under a month, so lots is going to settle for a bit… stepson’s girlfriend is pregnant and so that’ll be the next challenge, they’re also looking for a place together and saving up for what’s ahead.

So I get that mental settling for another could of years. They can increase the rent annually still but that’s not an concern til late next year anyway. I’m thinking of things I can do now to the place now I know I have another couple of years and in terms of settling into the neighbourhood…
In other news, the People Against Poverty Summit in November has been launched. Tickets are tiered. Facebook event here. I’ll have to organise getting up there etc, but it’ll be nice doing that knowing I won’t have a lease ending the next week! See you there?

Earnest and Overwhelmed – Teasing out the personal from the professionals this Homelessness Week

There’s a week for everything. Cancers, lupus, boys, thongs. This week is National Homelessness Week here in ‘straya, the lucky country, where there are no affordable homes to rent in most cities, let alone buy on the minimum wage, where we settled for mold-ridden shacks and ever-increasing rents rather than joining the ever-increasing homeless population. Sleeping in cars, in tents, on couches or garages, swags in the park until their moved on, but a nice little CEO sleepout each year will bring money and awareness to the charity sectors coffers.

My little granbaby turned one yesterday, having moved house three times already in her life, looking at another one soon. A young family needs to be able to establish roots, find some community and stability. You can’t grow let alone heal when you’re continuously uprooted, waiting for that email that says you’re on the move again.

NSW is supposedly strengthening their tenant’s rights, but they need to be enforced, and not have ben enforced by the little guy, the tenant who’s fighting to have a roof over their head. Landlords need to have consequences for being dicks about it all, and they need to know that it will cost them if they do lie about the reason for eviction or refuse to fix dangerous properties.

I’m tired and overwhelmed from yesterday. My car needs repairs. Well both our cars need repairs. I got some new kitties, bub got some too. I just wanted to take bub and her mum home and make them safe and warm and looked after but it doesn’t work like that, and it hurts.

I’ve been sick and now have passed it onto the boys.

I nearly had some paid work but that fell through, but I now have a working with children check completed and paid for so I can use that if something comes up. But that would involve me going for things. And I’m a bit of a spooked groundhog at the moment.

Groundhog Day, the Importance of Being Earnest. Movies we see over and over, comforting and just there. I’m told I’m Earnest, and I am there’s so much of the layers of the world that are needlessly there in my eyes. Why do we need to have all these layers? Whether it’s the extra layers of charities, meaning money is wasted at every step, or posturing and needing to seem to be doing good and being polite hen our actions are causing pain and suffering. So long as we’re nice about it. As long as the status quo and social cohesion is maintained, people’s rights can be eroded, their families sent away, the planet slowly destroyed.

Or quickly.

I probably should work towards getting that Autism and ADHD assessment, just to sort through it all more, know where I am. Or maybe I should just continue on my little way and slowly make this world my own.

Welfare is going up a dollar a day from March 20

Well, 96 cents if you’re on Jobseeker. Personally my pension indexation is $1.05 a day. That certainly won’t make any impact whatsoever when it starts getting indexed from Thursday (March 20).

Allowances Family Situation Previous Amount 20 Mar 2024 Increase Single, 22 or over, no children $749.20 $762.70 $13.50 pf Single, 22 or over, with children $802.50 $816.90 $14.40 pf Single, 55 or over, after 9 months $802.50 $816.90 $14.40 pf Partnered (each) $686.00 $698.30 $12.30 pf Single, principal carer of child, exempt from activity test* $970.20 $987.70 $17.50 pf

And don’t worry, Rent Assistance will only be going up about $1.50/week so it won’t help at all with this year’s rent increases.

We saw news articles last week where people are suddenly realising that people who are retiring to the aged pension and don’t own a house are fucked. No real acknowledgement though that that’s already the reality for people on DSP and Jobseeker, and that we’re not really adding to our Superannuation in any significant way to help with those costs if we live til 67.

Personally, my Super has been hovering around $150k since I stopped being a speech pathologist, fluctuation with markets. See how much it devalues over then next 25 years hey, and see what opportunities I have to add to it.

In personal news, I’ve moved sides of the living room. Bruce’s son is moving in this week, so we’re rejigging a bunch of things ahead of that. It means I’m under my hue lights now and have a nice solid wall behind me rather than open room/tv. Now to phona-fy the rest of the corner.