phonakins

Ausgrid Voices of Community Panel – First Face-to-Face Day at Rydges World Square

Gonzo and Rizzo saying I'm here to tell the story and Rozzo saying and I am here for the food

Over the last couple of months I’ve been participating in a panel for Ausgrid, the local energy distributor, working with 60 other customers across Sydney, Central Coast and the Hunter to feed into their next big plan. We had several evening sessions and one full day online before today, but Saturday was the first face to face session. As it was down in Sydney, Hunter participants received an extra $100 gift card thank you, on top of the $1000 payment we will get at the completion of the program in June.

Got up at 5am and caught an early train down the Central… been forever since I’ve done that long trip! Unfortunately, I lost my concession opal card a few weeks back and the replacement hasn’t arrived, so it was tapping on with my keycard for full fare. I still really don’t like three newer trains with the blue seats, and sadly didn’t get the old more comfortable purple seat train either way. One day the even newer trains will be in service and I’ll get to complain about the seats not being able to change direction.

a aoman with purple hair and glasses, wearing and pink mask and purple tank top — Andy Giraffe Romper from Rainbows and Fairies

An uneventful trip down, Sydney greeted me with what they’re know for best at the moment -rain! It was a dash up Pitt street without the umbrella I forgot to bring, and straight to the urn of coffee after registration. I’ve recently worked out that the reason I feel sick after two coffees is the milk and not the coffee or caffeine, so a low milk coffee link urn or instant with a splash of milk can be consumed repeatedly over the course of a conference or meeting day like this one.

sydney station outside on a rainy day

I swear I’m not just there for the food like Rizzo the rat, but a decent spread was put on and that’s what we’re at least making this post for! Gotta keep us fuelled up and thinking!

mini muffins

vege mud cakes

Morning tea was muffin time – blueberry, choc chip, and citrus and poppy seed muffins for the crown, and some vegan chocolate mud cakes for those with dietary restrictions. I tried them all – even the mud cake at the end of morning tea when they were going untouched. The mini-muffins were generic enough, and I stashed a couple to eat on the train home. The icing on the mud cake disappeared into my tongue somehow! It was VERY noisy in the lobby and the conference room, so I did some disappearing acts during the breaks to recharge.

buffet lunch

a plate of lunch and an apple juice

Lunch was a buffet – roast lam and vegetables, chicken curry and rice, salads, bread rolls, and desserts. There was a cheese option too, and apple juice, water, tea and coffee. I ate my lunch alone, then went to be social with some of the others with my petit fours and mug of tea. I nearly recruited someone to man a booth on election day, but she declined for her own sanity, and I don’t blame her!

The afternoon, while short was also long, and felt like it was dragging. I think it was because we’d been going over the same topics and points all day, trying to nut them out to be able to take them back to “the stakeholders” for feedback. There’s only so many times I can hear the same comments about an issue that’s really not that relevant but is super important to someone before rolling my eyes and wishing myself out of the room. They did have these plush cubes that had microphones to throw around so we could hear the speakers which was kinda cool, and super helpful especially with some people wearing masks.

The party pies were a surprise for afternoon tea, but strangely hit the spot with the grey old world outside looking like I didn’t want to go back into it.

I stared out over the lanterns at afternoon tea, regathering my self to face other humans for just one more session. Honestly, I didn’t contribute too much in the finally session, I was so done, and I somehow ended up on a table talking about fault reporting and tried to be useful and care. One strategy I did find myself using though the day was putting my hand up early to contribute so I knew I’d participated in a session and didn’t get lost in all the noise. It seemed to work for me.

We finished on time and scurried to the station for the 5.18 train. That was peaceful enough until Woy Woy when pre-loading teens got on to head into Newcastle for clubbing. They were so loud and reeking of cheap premixes, but good for them for, hey?

What do you like about conference type meals? I’m glad we got a sit-down lunch rather than stand up sandwiches and wraps, so that was a pleasant change!

Bruce’s Birthday Dinner – Mizumi Japanese Toronto

We really don’t get to go out much for dinner, Covid put a huge halt on that too, so making an effort to go for something nice for birthdays has become very important. This year for Bruce’s birthday we finally dined in at Muzimu Toronto, after getting takeaway sushi and bento a few times.

We got the usual – a plate of salmon sashimi each – they also do a melt in your mouth tuna sashimi – and some takoyaki to share, then Bruce selected his main – Tenpura Donburi, and I asked for the Wagyu beef entree, but they didn’t have it so I went for something I haven’t had since probably high school – an Okonomiyaki.

I have fond memories of making Okonomiyaki in the tiny classroom we had our Japanese lessons in back in high school. This one was clearly better, and who doesn’t like the dancing flakes on top?!

Now I’m all inspired for going back to Japanese lessons on Monday! They were paid for by a lovely Tweep called Eric, and I’ve been doing my Japanese revision on Duolingo to try to get back in the swing. This week I started doing the lessons live on Twitch to encourage me to practice the pronunciations rather than very passively reading to myself.

MIZUMI Japanese Restaurant

2/58 The Boulevarde Toronto
NSW 2283 (02) 4049 2567

Raise the Rate for Good – Poverty is a Political Choice #RaiseTheRateforGood

Banner for the National Day of Action — Raise the rate for good National day of Action Wed 27 April 2022

So, as I’m typing this, I’m overly full of ice creams because I was just on the phone to Centrelink trying to sort out the last of the financial paperwork they need for my DSP application. I’d sent through my partner’s tax return SUMMARY, but they needed the full thing, and then I spent time trying to screenshot it off the ato site because that seemed to be the easiest way? Ugh, who knows? She’ll get back to me if she needs more. It’s been a process, hasn’t it? From applying in September, to the December rejection, to getting the medical approval last month and now getting all the financial information together to prove that my partner shouldn’t be supporting me.

Abolish the partner income test, mmmkay?

But first what we’re here to do is raise our voices together and call for a raise of the JobSeeker payment and all other payments to ensure recipients are not struggling below the poverty line.

I’m currently, as I type this, still on JobSeeker, which as the partner rate is a grand total of $42.59 a day. $52.40 a day including rent assistance. So that’s less than the $46 a day bandied around, because they anticipate you need less money if you’re in a couple, and while yeah, there’s some shared expenses, I really don’t think it’s justified to halve the pharmaceutical allowance since I have a partner. We can’t share meds, you know? $3.10 a fortnight is laughable when you see my pharmacy bills each month.

Hilarious.

When (I say when) I get converted over the DSP, I’ve calculated I’ll be getting $53 a day. I assume I’ll be getting the same rent assistance, so it’ll be $63 including rent assistance. Score.

I use sarcasm as a defence mechanism.

The amount it should be raise to is up for discussion, but many agree that the $88 a day rate that puts the payment at the Henderson Poverty Line would be a great point. I know the Greens are promising this, however Labor has disappointed all by saying they have no plans to raise the rate of JobSeeker, and no plans yet to even review it, citing the “raise” given by the LNP when they took away the Covid supplement as seemingly enough by their standards.

I’ve been on JobSeeker with no obligations to look for jobs for a couple of years now. Cantrelink have acknowledged repeatedly that I’m not well enough to look for or maintain employment but there is not financial acknowledgement of that for so many. I’m finally getting DSP, but it was a fight. I could easily have taken the rejection in December and been on rolling medical certificates once more.

The rate of welfare payments needs to be liveable across the board, as the barriers to work are real for so many, and even once people DO get work, they’re still technically below the poverty line at the point they earn too much to receive JobSeeker. How shit is that?

Also, as I’m confirmed not to be able to supplement my income with work, then the argument that the payment is low as an incentive to work is more than ridiculous. And does not wash at all for how low the Disability Support Pension is with the rate of inflation and cost of living pressures ballooning in recent years. Once I get DSP my payment will be finally more than the total rent my partner and I pay, so there’s that?

Raise the rate. Of all payments. Stop giving us excuses as to why people should suffer and struggle to meet their basic needs. Stop making us beg, because people are over begging and might need to take a bit more direct action.

EveryPlate Meal Boxes as an Executive Functioning Aid

The ingredients that came in one everyplate box

I’m sure by now you’ve all heard of Hello Fresh meal boxes – you get a weekly box of meat (or not if you’re vegetarian), vegetables, carbs and spices sent to you, along with recipe cards. As someone living on JobSeeker (person-first language lol) I find Hello Fresh too pricey for me. They have great recipes, and it was wonderful back in the day when I was a speech pathologist, but fortunately there are a few options that are more budget friendly. EveryPlate is actually owned by Hello Fresh, and at $75 a week for 6 meals for two people fits into our weekly food budget well.

Why do I feel that these boxes are great for people with executive dysfunction difficulties? (aside from friends with ADHD raving to me about how useful they find them for ensuring they still eat a balanced meal at the end of the day?)

Is it Insta worthy?

No.

Did I manage to put an actual dinner together, without executive dysfunction getting in the way after getting up at 5am, doing 3 hours work, then working a 9 hour conference while my RA is also flaring?

I DID!!!!!!

Thanks @phonakins for the free box 💜 pic.twitter.com/3Ao1lBfTrd

— Rebecca Millar (@rebeccamillar83) March 21, 2022

Okay okay, they also cited chronic pain and arthritis flares, but hey, I think any spoonies could benefit from getting to 5pm, looking at a recipe card and going “hey I reckon I got the skills and energy to get through this!”, which is me six days a week. (on the seventh day we’ve usually had takeaway one night or I’ve been out, so six meals is the right amount for us).

Executive functioning skills include initiating tasks, problem solving, evaluating priorities, organisation, goal setting, flexible thinking, meeting deadlines, working memory, self-control, time management, perseverance, and planning. You can see how someone with a mental illness, chronic pain, autism or ADHD may struggle to pull these together to make dinner every night.

I actually quite like going grocery shopping. I like to look at the specials at Woolies beforehand to see what branded products I might get there because they work out cheaper than my Aldi staples, or that are my favourite treat products like $2 Tim Tams and choc-peppermint ice creams. I don’t like having to work out meals for the week, and I really don’t like having to ensure I have enough for every meal. I used to be better at it, but I put a lot more time and energy into it. Having the shops closed with Covid, or low stock from panic buying or supply chain issues with floods and wars, is not something I want to deal with. I can be creative with my meal planning, it’s just not my priority these days.

salt, pepper, olive oil , white wine vinegar, salad leaves, pink potoatoes, chicken breast, butter, tomato, aioli two brown plates with chicken, roast potato salad and green salad

One thing that caught me out initially was the “pantry ingredients” that they assume you have. I mean , I already did have a range of vinegars (white and red wine, balsamic), salt and pepper, brown sugar, soy sauce, butter, eggs… the one that first tripped me up was mayonnaise but that’s now a staple – the Aldi one does the job, so you have to give that a quick glance each week on the recipe cards so you’re not caught short.

chicken thigh, salt, pepper, olive oil, white wine vinegar, cucumber, tomato, galric. two white bowls with chicken curry, and salad

Sometime they do forget to include ingredients – depending what they are that can be catastrophic like when a portion of chicken was missed – but you contact them and get a credit on your account for more than the value of the item so that works out okay if you’re able to get to the shops – I actually bought a replacement pouch of chicken from the food bank I visit fortnightly from their frozen section that was actually donated from EveryPlate for much less than what I was credited. Sometimes they substitute items – particularly when there were supply shortages – so you get fish instead of chicken, or a carrot instead of zucchini. This isn’t a problem for me since we’re not fussy eaters or have dietary requirements, but I know it would be for some of you. I wouldn’t recommended these boxes without having a good look at the meal options if you do have fizzy eaters. They do have enough options for vegetarians – we usually get one vegetarian meal a week – but not for vegans as their vego meals often include cheese.

So, how does everyPlate fit in my week and make it more manageable? At the moment it arrives on a Wednesday – There’s a few days to choose from depending on your address. It has the six meals worth of meat, vegetables, carbs like rice, cous cous, wraps or pasta, and little sachets of spices. Sometimes there’s canned items like corn, beans or coconut milk. They come with overly-generic labels that remind me of the supplies from the Dharma Initiative in Lost. I think it’s hilarious and I love posting the photos of it on Twitter like they’re rations. Sometimes I go through to check if everything is there, but I usually don’t and just pack it away. I bring the recipe cards to my desk (the recipes are all online too) and then each day me and Bruce pick what we eat. Some of the things like chicken are suggested to eat early, or I’ll leave the super speedy meals like anything tacos for a day where I know I’ll probably be zapped – like after DBT group where I’ve had to be switched on and may have been emotionally taxed – and we go from there. In summer I’ll pick and choose meals that don’t need the oven, or I’ll just shove the potatoes in the air fryer instead. I’ve not yet managed to perfect the home cooked chips, I kept trying and I just can’t do it, so potatoes are usually just roasted in small cubes if chips are called for. Whaetevers.

food containers with blakc and white labels from the tv show Lost

In my homebody day, I try to get the dishes from the night before done before lunchtime so I’m working with a relatively clean and tidy kitchen. I get the ingredients out for a photo for Twitter and go from there. I’m getting better at cooking the rice on the stove, and timing my vegetables. So, I’m learning skills, it’s not all lazy and short-cutting.

I spent about five minutes here and there feeling bad about the small plastic packets everything comes in. But enviro-ableism has no place in my kitchen. (Read more about plastic straw bans and disability) Do what works for you. Your plastic packet might be “bad” but it’s not up there with the damage governments are allowing from coal and gas, so you know, live your best life.

You made it this far, so you deserve this unboxing video I did live on my Twitch channel :p Winning!

Got any questions? Fire away below. I sometimes get free boxes to give away to people who haven’t tried it before, so keep an eye out on Twitter for those. Otherwise if you want a $30 discount off your first box, use my referral link.

Interpersonally Ineffective

I’ve made it to the halfway point of my Dialectical Behaviour Therapy program through the Centre for Psychotherapy in town. Six months, three modules (distress tolerance, emotional regulation and interpersonal effectiveness) plus the ongoing mindfulness skills, across one weekly individual therapy session and one 2.5 skills group. Via Telehealth. With homework. I am so trepedacious about going to face to face from next week, but where have I gotten with it so far?

Well, I’ve only missed one individual session in all that time! There’s been weeks without appointments due to Christmas and Easter, or my psychologist’s leave, but I’ve only cancelled one, and I had covid and was brain-foggy as I think it was a great call. I’ve been to all of the group sessions scheduled too, a couple while I had covid I wasn’t 100% but I still sat in, gave it a go, and did my homework. Advantage of telehealth is the ability to attend even when under the weather, or infectious. That won’t really be an option for the groups at least from here on in. At least not immediately, they do have teleconferencing facilities which the lead therapist mentioned yesterday, but they’re not currently working, and would be an option if you’ve covid, I’m told, but at this stage it might be best to give it a miss?

I’m not sure what their rules are going to be around isolating if you’ve covid or a household contact, now that the regulations are rapidly disappearing? When I had covid I couldn’t go into the Mater for my Antabuse for 14 days but I also don’t know what the rules are there now, for outpatients vs inpatients and the like.

SO. The last module was called “Interpersonal Effectiveness” aka social skills :p A lot of the manual does read like social skills training, making sure you’re polite, not too demanding, use eye contact, and “easy manner” all the things that are “expected” of you, Because they’re expected, they’re effective when interacting with the people.

I have to admit a sense of skepticism about what parts of this I should spend too much energy on. Fortunately for me it seems all my years of masking an fawning have left me over-doing a lot of the “good” skills, if to my own detriment. And the therapists have been encouraging me to stand up for myself more, hold my ground, and “no sorries”, because they are SO automatic and just make me so meek and submissive.

I have to admit, I spent too much energy last session observing the therapists’ manners, their facial expressions, their ways of explaining things. Wondering if that’s what I should aspire to be like, but also feeling like some of it was unnecessary. You know what people use their encouraging smiles? and it gets too much?

First group in person on Thursday. I hope my replacement Opal card comes in time. I lost it on the way home from my last individual session. I’d not taken my wallet, because it’s big and everything is on my phone, except for my opal card, and I thought the card would be safe in my DBT folder, but it slipped out between tapping on at Newcastle interchange and trying to tap off at Fassifern. it’s a concession card, so it has to be ordered, there’s no buying individual, single trip tickets on concession any more. Yup, that makes it difficult for a lot of people.

But I’ve been social lately. Went to the local candidate’s event and chatted with new and prospective members, educated people around Greens’ policies and how preferential voting works. Yeah, I collapsed in a heap the next day, but I use my social spoons and social skills as needed. I even have a phone call booked to talk about going new places and meet even more new people next month, and I’m going to Sydney on Saturday for a customer panel I’m doing with Ausgrid. I can be around people, and turn on the charm as necessary, I just prefer not to unless I think it’s worth it.