Tag: self-care

Who are the people on your Internet?

They’re the people that you meet when you’re sending that snarky tweet, when you’re thinking of pushing delete, each day.

I’m a little off this week. I’m mostly blaming the rental inspection and the extra work and stress that came with that. Spilled my hot porridge getting it out of the microwave this morning. Dropped a couple of other things too. Unjokingly stated that my goal for today was to not drop me. And if I did let it be a gentle and controlled fall to the ground. Onto cushions.

So if I’m a little off it’s because I’m feeling off. I was apparently burning up last night and I had some wild dreams, vivid ones, ones I don’t want to relive. Things are getting to me, I’m seeing myself being stubborn on things that don’t really serve me. And I should just ask for what I need from others more, but sometimes I just wish they’d realise and do it.

It isn’t helping that fixing the Corolla has been a long process and without it I can’t do many of the things in my regular routine – going to the foodbank for bread or treats, doing the recycling, taking the dog to the dog park etc. I should have caught the train into group today but I’m not feeling up to the hassle of the trains and the buses and they were having issues yesterday with all the rain too. So I’m home.

So when someone on twitter goes off at me for something that I know is more their issue than mine I’m up to one or two replies then I’m off to ignore them, do something to look after myself (like watch The Batman and get disappointed that they didn’t all die) and remember that I’m a real person, that while phonakins IS me she’s also only what I share with you, and more people need to be aware that noone can be everything to everyone, particularly on Twitter, where as much as it might feel like a friendship sometimes you need to step back and not take it all so personally. I think the one-and-a-half-sided friendships like on Twitch with creators often applies to Twitter interactions too. I also need to remember that I’m just a fangirl of some of these bigger accounts and not really a friend. It’s fun while it lasts but sometimes it’s real and sometimes it’s time for a reality check.

I’m off to strike a balance of food, electrolytes (it’s what plants crave) and caffeine and hope that helps get me through today.

Who CAN we trust with our stories?

After the disheartening response to the Disability Royal Commission finally came out last month, advocates and many others were left in literal tears, wondering what the point of a 4 -year commission that heard the many stories of violence, abuse, exploitation and neglect of disabled Australians was. Again this week, those who gave evidence to the gambling harms enquiry are wondering the same. Why should vulnerable people who have already suffered subject themselves to rehashing their stories for the amusement of government panels who have already seemed to have decided what actions they’ll take no matter how harrowing it gets?

Of course, it’s just everyone else’s turn to learn this after the continued deaths in custody of Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islanders, seemingly not even slowing since the 1987 Royal Commission. The Closing the Gap figures last week were going backwards in essential areas, with the stirred up racism and disappointment of “The Voice” brushed aside by our dear leader, who can’t commit to Makarrata, to Treaty, or even to Truth Telling, which is sorely needed. We need to face the fact that we’re continuing the horrors of the Stolen Generations with child protection policies and locking up Blak kids and that more of the same isn’t getting us anywhere.

And our Governments support for Genocidal Israel is not instilling confidence in their willingness to not continue the Genocide here.

Each day I get emailed surveys to do, to share my story with another Not For Profit, or the Greens (who I’m still deciding whether I’ll renew my membership of, got another reminder text today) or news of another Senate inquiry. I don’t know what to do with these. I fill some responses out myself, when I have the spoons, but I’m reluctant to pass them on anymore. Reluctant to ask that emotional labor of people who are already battling to get through their day-to-day life when I can’t seem to offer them examples of how it will change things for them or the people they care about.

A lot of my people are burning out at the moment, running themselves thin, with family deaths and health issues themselves, wanting to ramp up to see if we can force Labor’s hand ahead of the upcoming election, but also needing to focus on self-care, on mutual aid, on trying to do some positive things too to brighten their lives in the immediate sense.

I’m down a car this week, so out of routine. Bruce’ll fix in on the weekend. But I went across the road for some sun with the dog just now and that was nice, gave me some healing warmth. I’ll catch the train into town tomorrow for group and might make some time to wander along the streets and browse the shops. There’s a few op-shops there I haven’t been to in ages I might pick up something from.

Love yas x

Blue Koala at the rest stop in Port Macquarie