Just do the little things to stay sane so you can rage against the big ones

Content warnings – suicide, death, social murder

Just sorting out my meds this morning, making sure I’m ready for another week. Looking after me so I can look after me and then look after others.

rainbow day and night pill box

We lost another community member.

David’s death is at the hands of the politicians who talk about helping others but leave them in the gutter. That put maintaining the status quo of more investment properties for themselves and their mates over having a public housing safety net for all who need and want it. Who want to make sure that the NDIS is seen as tough and efficient but can’t get back to applicants with supports and then make them reapply all over again, but oh look there’s another barrier because a report is now out of date or their drivers license is expired and so they can’t make ID points.

I’m tired and angry and sick of all this and it doesn’t have to be this way but those in the powers that be in governments and social services keep it this way.

Like, is this a good news story from the weekend? Daniel was repeatedly and illegally cut off his meagre welfare payment, surviving off the small amount his father was able to give him to pay for his medications. Daniel was made homeless by an uncaring system that can’t even get his own processes right. Daniel is getting nearly three years back pay – but that is only $52k. And he held off revealing his story until that was paid because through fear it would be withheld by a system that’s known to dish dirt on the poor and vulnerable to protect its own image and keep its system working.

They have learned nothing from Robodebt except that they can get away with it. That Daniel and David will be blips on their radars, that no matter whether it’s the red or blue team they can sweep them aside and keep their jobs or move into better ones. Royal commissions and NACC mean shit when Scotty’s got a new job and Bill Shortens robot got binned but people are still out there dying because the “Welfare” system doesn’t care about the welfare of the worst off.

A screenshot of a news article from the Sound Telegraph by Ava Berryman, dated Wednesday, 15 October 2025.The headline reads: "New SecondBite charity warehouse helps The Crew feed more locals suffering from food insecurity."The main image is a photograph showing a person in a high-visibility vest holding a cardboard box filled with fresh produce, including lettuce and red onions. The box has the SecondBite logo on the side with the tagline: "Ending Waste. Ending Hunger."The caption under the image states: "A new charity warehouse helps feed more hungry locals. Credit: Supplied"The text from the article snippet reads:"The launch of a new $2000 \text{sqm}$ warehouse in Kewdale could see about 20 million more meals per year provided to those in need through the help of one of Australia's leading food rescue organisations, SecondBite.The warehouse will help tackle food insecurity head on, with a goal to increase the amount of food rescued in WA by one million kilograms per year over the next two to three years."

Kylea Tink is Foodbank’s new CEO. You may remember her as a teal independent, but now she’s pretending to make a difference by expanding the amount governments and individuals spend on food relief – on the food itself, on the warehouses, the trucks, the fundraisers and the branding. Oh the branding. She joins former NSW Premier John Robertson who’s the NSW CEO. Because we need multiple layers of CEOs.

They’ll put out press releases about how many are going hungry and how you too cold help out by giving their particular organisation (or OzHarvest, or Second Bite) money to fund x amount of meals or a food hamper. These press releases rarely mention that this poverty is manufactured by supermarkets that would rather over order and over change and feel good donating excess stocks than running their businesses at slightly less profit but still making a motsa and not creating food waste. Or the politicians that give another grant for another warehouse, another charity another photo opp to support the needy, but could lift so many out of this situation with a nimble piece of legislation that lifts welfare payments above the poverty line. Or at all levels buying and building public housing (States and Federal and even local councils) so that people can be immediately housed rather than renting hovels through layers of community housing providers that don’t provide guarantees of tenure.

Poverty has risen over the three years of a Labor government, and people are dying. People are dying because they’re being left behind. They’re not able to afford to feed themselves properly or to attend to their health care – people can’t afford to go to the doctor or to buy the meds their need to stay healthy. NDIS is cutting supports that are working for people while telling us that no, noone’s losing supports and here we are losing our minds. Being house should be a given but relying on the private market when public housing has ten year wait lists and crisis accommodation is two weeks in a seedy mote with a dozen others at the worst points in their lives is certainly not helping anyone.

It’s a thousand straws on each camels back, and they all carry so much weight. People can’t do it alone but too many are forced to. And they struggle on and if they get the hand their need to make it through they just might. Is that hand going to be on a case by case basis from and for an individual or will our governments actually step up to provide the supports that people need? To everyone?

So I’m going to take my meds that I’m blessed to be able to afford and  stay strong for myself so that I can look after myself so I can look after others.

In terms of mental health numbers, in NSW I’ve found the mental health helpline useful for support for myself and others. There are other services and ideas listed on that page. Lifeline also has sms and online crisis chat in certain hours as well as the usual phone – 13 11 14.

Routine and Pacing – staying sane when you get a little off

Touch grass they say – but don’t repeatedly kick the same toe on things, it gets tiring after awhile, and it doesn’t give it a chance to heal and somehow you’re still hobbling weeks later.

So I got overloaded, took on too much mental load, spread myself too thin, so I’m cutting back on somethings, to make life sustainable.

I’m ensuring I follow my little routine, that includes meds and white hot chocolates, and winding down after dinner. This means I’ll be declining after 6pm meetings from now til the conference in June. I’ll be showered and onesied on time, meds around nine, white hot chocolate before that. Breakfast has gone back to porridge sachets for winter – except this week since my partner bought a dozen hot cross buns I’m trying to get through!

I’m going to go back to (close to) daily Japanese practice and streaming. Started on a new vocab game yesterday. So, the plan is an hour of practice followed by variety game streaming a few mornings a week, no real schedule it’ll depend on everything going on around me and of course it’s more about getting back into good habits that nourish me – and the Japanese language has always been that for me. Recommendations for websites and programs to use are more than welcome – I know Duolingo did that things with more AI use since I was last using it, so while I’ll probably tap into that a little, I’m all for a scattered approach. I’ll set up my second cam for colouring and kana practice, and perhaps my cheap graphics tablet if I can find a kanji program that would work well with pen input rather than mouse. There was a program I had on an emulator that I was going to use with that but then I did a system reinstall and it’s gone.

Also keen to fill this board with stuff – Amazon slips or pictures from frens or whatever may come. I’m pleased to say I’ve a couple of regular monthly supporters here, and it’s such a mood boost even though one’s for $1/month!

Hello HSC Maths, we meet again

I actually don’t have nightmares about maths exams, though they caused me many years of stress and tears in high school. It’s English that keeps coming back to haunt my dreams – scenarios such as having to re-sit the HSC papers otherwise they’ll take my degrees and years of work experience off me because I wasn’t validly in them. Or something.

I got a peek at the Standard and Advanced maths exams while supervising them Monday. They were the old Maths in Practice, Maths in Society and 2 Unit maths subjects from before the turn of the century. I did two unit in year 10, so that content was 26 years ago for me… gosh. I should have dopped maths after the 3 unit paper in year 11, but no, I was convinced (by who IDK) to continue to 4 unit and the horrors that came with that orange text book. As I said to the other supervisors on Monday, I failed the 4 unit exam by marks but it still scaled to mid nineties, so yeah, I’m told it was worth the feelings of failure.

I also confessed to the other supervisors, when they were saying they don’t understand why anyone would try to cheat, that I’d cheated in one maths test once – a Maths Olympiad paper in grade five, the sort of maths competition where the content was part of the HSC syllabus but they threw it at primary school kids to see what they could do. I really don’t know where the pressure came from in primary school for me. I felt like I HAD to top that exam for my school otherwise I wouldn’t be doing what I was supposed to do. Just like how I cried when I didn’t “top” the Basic Skills Test maths (Think NAPLAN now) for my school. Even though it wasn’t a test that was meant to impact anything. This is also the girl who cried in Kindy cos she had to stay home sick because she thought she’d get behind, even though she was reading and comprehending at three years old.

Apparently I was more boisterous before Kindergarten and then my school reports from grade one started calling me timid. And I blame the strict Kinder teacher. While she may never have had to discipline me in her classroom, I saw what happened to other kids – she smacked them and put them in the store room and other things that terrified me – and that was enough to make me submissive and scared.

Isn’t it fun to reflect on what made you the way you are today?

Who CAN we trust with our stories?

After the disheartening response to the Disability Royal Commission finally came out last month, advocates and many others were left in literal tears, wondering what the point of a 4 -year commission that heard the many stories of violence, abuse, exploitation and neglect of disabled Australians was. Again this week, those who gave evidence to the gambling harms enquiry are wondering the same. Why should vulnerable people who have already suffered subject themselves to rehashing their stories for the amusement of government panels who have already seemed to have decided what actions they’ll take no matter how harrowing it gets?

Of course, it’s just everyone else’s turn to learn this after the continued deaths in custody of Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islanders, seemingly not even slowing since the 1987 Royal Commission. The Closing the Gap figures last week were going backwards in essential areas, with the stirred up racism and disappointment of “The Voice” brushed aside by our dear leader, who can’t commit to Makarrata, to Treaty, or even to Truth Telling, which is sorely needed. We need to face the fact that we’re continuing the horrors of the Stolen Generations with child protection policies and locking up Blak kids and that more of the same isn’t getting us anywhere.

And our Governments support for Genocidal Israel is not instilling confidence in their willingness to not continue the Genocide here.

Each day I get emailed surveys to do, to share my story with another Not For Profit, or the Greens (who I’m still deciding whether I’ll renew my membership of, got another reminder text today) or news of another Senate inquiry. I don’t know what to do with these. I fill some responses out myself, when I have the spoons, but I’m reluctant to pass them on anymore. Reluctant to ask that emotional labor of people who are already battling to get through their day-to-day life when I can’t seem to offer them examples of how it will change things for them or the people they care about.

A lot of my people are burning out at the moment, running themselves thin, with family deaths and health issues themselves, wanting to ramp up to see if we can force Labor’s hand ahead of the upcoming election, but also needing to focus on self-care, on mutual aid, on trying to do some positive things too to brighten their lives in the immediate sense.

I’m down a car this week, so out of routine. Bruce’ll fix in on the weekend. But I went across the road for some sun with the dog just now and that was nice, gave me some healing warmth. I’ll catch the train into town tomorrow for group and might make some time to wander along the streets and browse the shops. There’s a few op-shops there I haven’t been to in ages I might pick up something from.

Love yas x

Blue Koala at the rest stop in Port Macquarie

Let’s look at the Draft National Autism Strategy

So it was Autism whatever day yesterday, so the government got to announce what they’re gonna try to do to make sure there’s no immediate Autistic Uprising. One of those things in Australia was announcing the Draft National Autism Strategy, which I’m going to read through and react to here.

Before I read it, what do I want?

  1. Timely, affordable assessment and diagnosis of Autism and related conditions like ADHD. Ultimately free to the person being assessed, paid for by the government in full, not by crowdfunding. Preferably without an upfront cost that needs to be claimed back. I ‘member the olden days (early 2000s) when kids could get assessed and diagnosed free, and sometimes even adults could.
  2. Support for teachers and schools to include Autistic kids how they need to be included to learn. The feds will palm this off to the states, but schools need to be supported to include all kids in their local schools. They should be provided with the staffing and physical resources needed – space, suitable classrooms, flexibility in policies around attendance and “discipline”.
  3. Family support. Why is everything such a struggle? Recognition that Autistic kids probably have Autistic/ADHD parents and siblings. Whole family approaches to providing supports and funding, not making it a fight for everything, trusting that people know what help they need, but also presenting them with options if they’re not sure where to start – NDIS is too gatekeepy with new families having to ask for specific things that they need but don’t know exists or that they’re allowed to use their funding on. I miss the early intervention social workers I worked with in Canberra who knew every support available and how to get families into these.
  4. Mental health supports across all ages. Basically unlimited psychological supports that people can move in and out of as needed and not just when there’s a crisis. Suitable crisis care – crisis care that actually acknowledges Autism provides guidance on how to get support for that as an underlying thing, rather than just treating the apparently borderline personality disorder, eating disorder, suicide attempt or addiction.
  5. Support to get financial security. Money to start businesses because we’ve probably got good ideas, support to learn how to do the business parts so those ideas can be sustainable. Mentorship – whether in large and small workplaces or in our own ventures. Requirements for government agencies and businesses to understand us and accommodate our needs, and that that is different for each person. You think we’re the rigid ones? We just tend to know after awhile what works for us. Of course I’m gonna say welfare payments above the poverty line, because things don’t always work out and a true financial safety net means not starting from scratch if we go into burnout or have a mental health crisis.

That’ll do for now. *saves draft* let’s look at this thing. Commitments The commitments relate to areas of Australian Government responsibility. Feedback from the community on issues relating to states and territories has been shared with state and territory governments. In any areas of joint responsibility between the Commonwealth and state and territory governments, the Strategy will guide the Australian Government’s engagement with jurisdictions. Social Inclusion 1. Improve understanding of, and change attitudes towards, Autistic people across all of society, through: a. Greater public education and awareness including a better understanding of autism within workplaces, and with a focus on health, education and the criminal justice system. b. Increasing visibility and representation of Autistic people in the media, sports and the arts. c. Increasing accessible and sensory-friendly public and online spaces. d. Increasing the capability of advocates and advocacy organisations to challenge and reduce stigma of autism. 2. Increase opportunities for social connections and peer support. 3. Improve Australian Government service delivery, communication, and information to meet the needs of Autistic people. 4. Ensure consideration of the needs of Autistic people in future amendments to or reviews of the Disability Discrimination Act 1992 (Cth) and associated disability standards. 5. Improve the safety and welfare of Autistic people through the reduction of all forms of discrimination, violence, abuse, bullying, vilification and exploitation.

Of course it starts with reminding us it’s only about what the Commonwealth government wants to do and that while they’re gonna put more responsibilities back on the states, they won’t make them do particular things in return for funding and good luck to you.

Social Inclusion: Ooh good it includes the criminal justice system as needing to better understand Autism. Obviously we want help before that stage in education and school.

Visibility in media – so more characters on tv, or actually autistic actors or exploitative ABC reality shows? I’m curious about how that one about the ACCR autistic journalism cadets is panning out :/

Sensory friendly spaces – I SWEAR the Services NSW has their radio up  deliberately loud outside the quiet hours. Can we just ban commercial radio in public settings? And have Coles radio on low enough that it isn’t painful? more benches in quiet places where I can sit with my shopping til it’s bearable to go back.

Capacity building for advocates – um, fund advocacy organizations, an not just the ones who tell you what you want to hear? And not just around stigma, but about supporting people to access your services, get your funding for therapy, fight your tribunals. And fund legal aid.

Connections and peer support – how we want it, give us the money to run lego and minecraft and flower arranging and train spotting and and anything groups, don’t give it to neurotypicals to babysit us. Train Autistic audits to support younger Autistics and run peer support.

Legal stuff – enforce the antidiscrimination laws we already have, actually penalise people and businesses if they break those laws. Stop letting them please financial hardship – start with government agencies hey?Economic Inclusion 6. Increase meaningful employment opportunities (including business ownership, self-employment, entrepreneurship and social enterprise) for Autistic people. 7. Support employers to hire and retain Autistic employees through improving the accessibility of recruitment processes and fostering workplace environments that are safe and inclusive for all Autistic people. 8. Improve the supports and services available to Autistic people to ensure they have choice and control over their education and careers. 9. Increase representation of Autistic people in senior and board positions to promote people as visible role models. 10. Improve inclusive practices and the quality and accessibility of advocacy resources for Autistic students across all education settings, and their families, carers and support networks. 11. Build on commitment 5 Improve the safety and welfare of Autistic people through the reduction of all forms of discrimination, violence, abuse, bullying, vilification and exploitation to specifically focus on Autistic students in all levels of education.

Economic Inclusion: All great ideas. But they all need enforcement when they are legal requirements. ACAB, but perhaps an Autistic-led way of enforcing the antidiscrimination laws and educational requirements and so forth? They also just need to give us more money and trust that we generally know what we wanna do with it. Welfare above the poverty line as a true safety net. The right to housing. The right to education. Human rights.

The first one about supporting Autistic people to have their own businesses. It needs to go further than a year of the NEIS Centrelink solo business program that doesn’t actually give you any money to start your business. Grants for Autistic people to start businesses, to employ others. Sometimes we just need to be supported to include each other.

iagnosis, Services and Supports 12. Consider the use and consistency of current identification screening, outcome and diagnostic tools. Work with relevant professional bodies to develop a set of standardised co-designed training/professional development and resource materials to support professionals involved in the identification, assessment and diagnosis of autism to improve the experience, and quality of this process for Autistic people and their families and carers. 13. Develop a set of best practice resources to support Autistic people and their families, carers and support networks through the identification, assessment and diagnosis process. 14. Explore ways to improve access to primary care, including through the Medicare Benefits Schedule (MBS), to: a. improve quality health and mental health services for Autistic people, with a focus on continuity of care, and b. explore ways to make Autism diagnosis and assessment processes more timely and accessible. 15. Consider early screening and identification arrangements, and improved access to health professionals.* * Consideration is to be given to how this commitment links with joint work being undertaken by the Australian and state and territory governments as part of Australia’s Disability Strategy 2021-31 and in response to the Independent Review of the NDIS. Details on work to meet this commitment will be developed in Action Plan/s. 16. Improve access to quality, timely, neurodiversity-affirming and equitable supports and services for Autistic people, including for people living in rural, regional and remote areas. 17. Encourage greater representation of people with lived experience in delivering supports and services to Autistic people. 18. Develop a set of best practice training and resource materials for people providing services and supports to Autistic people. 19. Explore the feasibility of a decision-making tool to empower Autistic people to make informed decisions about all areas of their life. 20. Work with states and territories to improve service integration between the NDIS, foundational supports and mainstream services.

Diagnosis, Services and Supports: Make Autism assessment free somehow – whether through brining back the government assessment teams or directly funding assessment by private providers through bulk-billing Medicare items at adequate rates that mean the providers can provide them on demand. Rebated Medicare items lead to people who can’t front the money missing out, and guess what, Autistic people and their families don’t have the cash lying around.

There’s a LOT of resources out there on what is best practice. Scrap funding for ABA. Funding for services beyond the capital cities and major centres is still lacking and a constant difficulty for all disability and health services – more funding through the education services might be a way to reach out to more places, trained teachers in mainstream early childhood settings and schools who can liaise with “specialist” supports and know where to get support.

“Greater representation” of Autistic people / lived experience – this needs to go back to workplaces and training programs being safe for Autistic people and accommodating, they need to accommodate us at the undergrad level of teaching, speech pathology, occupational therapy university programs. It needs to be okay to be neurodivergent in University and TAFE. It needs to be safe to disclose at those places or in workplaces and to have bad days as a therapist. Mask on or off, we need to be supported.

Supported decision making support is lacking across the NDIS. People are being blamed for their providers taking advantage of them where they should have been supported to make their own decisions around support and purchases that affect their lives.

Governance 21. Develop a governance framework to support: a. strong accountability mechanisms, b. co-leadership and active involvement of Autistic people, as well as parents and carers, and professionals within the autism sector, and c. whole-of-government, cross-sectoral and coordinated approaches to implementationResearch
22. Explore how autism research can best be fostered and applied to policy and service delivery and
underpinned by the Strategy’s Guiding Principles.
Evidence
23. Develop a National Autism Strategy Evidence Framework, including a Theory of Change,
Program Logic, Outcomes Framework, and Evaluation Framework.
Evaluation and Reporting
24. Develop a robust Evaluation Plan and reporting mechanism, co-led by Autistic people and the
autism community, for the National Autism Strateg

Governance, Research, Evidence, Evaluation and Reporting: OMG ACCOUNTABILITY. Please stop saying you’re going to fix something, ask opinions on things, consult with people and then never follow up, or hold yourselves accountable. Closing the Gap, for example. It’s just a report each year on how much worse things are getting for most First Nations people, rather than a review that you act on to change what you’re doing.

You’ve on page 8 “Nothing about us, without us”. You know that means more than just consulting? It means actually implementing our ideas and not saying that you can’t because it’s too hard or expensive for the neurotypical and non-disabled people. I need to look at who you have on these committees but I trust in the Autistic members to unmask and tell it like it is. You may be uncomfortable, but when the Autistic people who can’t speak up for themselves are still being abused and neglected and the systems are upholding the abusers rights through funding them or listening to them over us, we get angry and you’ve given us a chance to fix that, so you’d better change things.

It’s not a completely terrible read, so read the plan if you’ve time, but again if they don’t follow through with action and funding why bother?

Listen to us, give us money to do the things we need to do to live, fund our supports, teach us how to identify our needs, trust us.