Coughing and Perfectionism

I coughed a lot as a child. My colds always continued on for weeks into night coughs and it was a great break mover the period of covid shut down and precautions not to have a regular cold that trailed on for weeks disturbing my sleep and just being unpleasant.

I have one horrible memory of a coughing fit. In about grade 6, I was singing in choir before and assembly. And I started coughing. Turning away to cover my face but trying to stay with it in between. That was touch enough until the strict kindergarten teacher that had taught for centuries came up and pulled me aside on the stage as the rest of the school came in for the assembly. She told me offndor turning away to cough and told me it was rude or distracting or something. And then of course I start coughing in front of her. “Don’t cough at me” she yells and I say big can’t help it I have a cough. Eventually she let’s me go and I head outside and cry. Another , also known as strict teacher sees me and I cry that I have a headache and she let’s me sit outside for the assembly and calm down.

I wonder if it was connected that this was the teacher I had in kinder when I got upset at home because I was too sick to go to school and distressed I’d fall behind.

Who knows

I used to get jealous of the kids who got kept home from school less sick than me.

But at least I was a good kid and never shut in the storeroom.

And the week that was

So I posted, thinking I knew what this past week would involve, but of course that all changes. I still have the butternut pumpkin and not sure what I’ll do with it yet. I also still have this cough which has turned into a cough that’s triggered into a coughing fit when I talk too much or have crumbs. So I’m minimising my talking and dusty foods and environments. A blogging friend suggest it sounded like the tail end of whooping cough, and it does. I have a GP appointment next Friday so if it’s not too late to test for it I’ll get a pathology referral then, but I’m well past the window where any antibiotics would help and I’m not gonna be infectious so yeah, I just have to deal with that and the wetting myself which is the worst part. I’m getting older and am overweight so adding a cough has pushed my bladder control past its limit. lol. Ugh. I’ll live. It’s just annoying when I cough and that and also the dizzyness from lack of oxygen etc.

New Zealand food bank unknowingly distributes lollies made from potentially lethal amount of methamphetamine Posted 1h ago1 hours ago A pineapple flavoured sweet in a yellow wrapper A pineapple flavoured lolly filled with a potentially lethal dose of methamphetamine.(NZ Drug Foundation via AP)

I’ve been asked to be on a panel for the Anglicare national conference in Newcastle next month, the panel is “Putting People First: Campaigning for Change Together.” so I’ll talk about my pivot from food blogging wine and chocolates and happily giving that extra 50c to a food care charity at the checkout to critiquing the food support foodchain and layers of waste and other aspects of the poverty industry while munching on my out of date snacks from the local foodbank, which at least having been donated meth lollies. I’m absolutely terrified, but gonna use my mantra “Speak because your voice shakes” to get me through.

I’ve decided not to renew my Greens membership, though will still assist my local group where I can for the upcoming local elections. It’s just easier not that have that perceived conflict on paper when I’m speaking truth to Labor, whether the Greens policies in that area actually align with my views or not.

I also went out of my  comfort zone yesterday and agreed to dog-sit from someone I knew but wasn’t close to in highschool, but our lives have become more aligned in the years since and I consider her a friend. The coughing was a pain, but she shouted me sushi and even though she didn’t end up leaving me alone with the dogs so I wasn’t as relaxed as I could be with just me and the fluffers, it was good to get out and do something different, especially since my car is still out of action and we’re waiting on parts so my movements are limited.

I’ve been put in the bath to relax and it’s soothed my cough a couple nights this week as well as soothing the rest of me. This week I have a couple of evening meetings – one for the antipoverty conference I’m helping with organizing in Brisbane in November with APN Qld and the Antipoverty Centre quarterly meeting. I’ll minimise my talking, but at least I’ll be on minutes for the second. So, if you need me, expect only text xoxo

The Week Ahead

So I think I’ve move past my despair and disheartenedess from last week, ready for the pollies to go back for another sitting week and try to make some announce-ables on cost-of-living stick in the lead up to the Federal election, which I’m still feeling is gonna be may not December but who knows yet?

Speaking of announce-ables, the Combined Superannuants and Pensioners Association have looked at the numbers and anticipate a 2.6% indexation on the base rate of pensions and 2% on supplements and other payments like JobSeeker.

How much will JobSeeker increase in September 2024?The JobSeeker Payment rates are indexed based on the last 2 quarterly CPI increases, as reported by the Australian Bureau of Statistics. On 20 September 2023, JobSeeker Payment rates will most likely increase by 2%. JobSeeker Payment Current maximum fortnightly rate Expected rate from September 2024 Amount extra each fortnight Single, no children $762.70 $778 $15.30 Single, 55 or older (after 9 continuous months on an income support payment) OR with a dependent child/children $816.90 $833.20 $16.30 Single, principal carer (exempt from mutual obligations due to specific carer responsibilities) $987.70 $1,007.50 $19.80 Partnered $698.30 $712.30 $14 Age Pension, Disability Support Pension and Carer Payment Current maximum fortnightly rate Expected rate from September 2024 Amount extra each fortnight Single/Couple separated due to ill health $1,116.30 $1,144.40 $28.10 Couple (each) $841.40 $862.60 $21.20 Couple (combined) $1,682.80 $1,725.20 $42.40

So, for me that’s $21.40 a fortnight on the pension, and $3.54 a fortnight up on rent assistance (going from $177.20 $180.74 a fortnight, $90.37 a week). Of course that’s already gone, so it’s a good thing I’m signing a contract with AUWU to become the first actual employee of the Unemployed Works Union to further their Nobody Deserves Poverty campaign. If I’m good enough at my job it won’t exist soon, which should be the aim for most of the charities circling the slush fund that is the welfare industry.

butternut pumkin on my lap

We’re still sick in this house, I’ve  just got the tail end cold which is fine until I talk and then I cough like crazy. The boys are ploughing through the tissues, good thing I have a delivery of essentials coming from Amazon this week. If anyone wants to send a care package there’s some boring things on our household wishlist. We’re still down a car which means my opportunities to do my shopping around have been limited and we’ve had to actually buy bread this week (the horror!). Even though Bruce won’t be up to fixing his car, since he’s sick and will be doing minimum work this week I can hit up our locals for breads and fruit and veg tomorrow 🙂 Til then, the guy at the servo this morning gave me this pumpkin so I’ll chop it up and roast it and add it to tonight’s meal. Score!

 

Who CAN we trust with our stories?

After the disheartening response to the Disability Royal Commission finally came out last month, advocates and many others were left in literal tears, wondering what the point of a 4 -year commission that heard the many stories of violence, abuse, exploitation and neglect of disabled Australians was. Again this week, those who gave evidence to the gambling harms enquiry are wondering the same. Why should vulnerable people who have already suffered subject themselves to rehashing their stories for the amusement of government panels who have already seemed to have decided what actions they’ll take no matter how harrowing it gets?

Of course, it’s just everyone else’s turn to learn this after the continued deaths in custody of Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islanders, seemingly not even slowing since the 1987 Royal Commission. The Closing the Gap figures last week were going backwards in essential areas, with the stirred up racism and disappointment of “The Voice” brushed aside by our dear leader, who can’t commit to Makarrata, to Treaty, or even to Truth Telling, which is sorely needed. We need to face the fact that we’re continuing the horrors of the Stolen Generations with child protection policies and locking up Blak kids and that more of the same isn’t getting us anywhere.

And our Governments support for Genocidal Israel is not instilling confidence in their willingness to not continue the Genocide here.

Each day I get emailed surveys to do, to share my story with another Not For Profit, or the Greens (who I’m still deciding whether I’ll renew my membership of, got another reminder text today) or news of another Senate inquiry. I don’t know what to do with these. I fill some responses out myself, when I have the spoons, but I’m reluctant to pass them on anymore. Reluctant to ask that emotional labor of people who are already battling to get through their day-to-day life when I can’t seem to offer them examples of how it will change things for them or the people they care about.

A lot of my people are burning out at the moment, running themselves thin, with family deaths and health issues themselves, wanting to ramp up to see if we can force Labor’s hand ahead of the upcoming election, but also needing to focus on self-care, on mutual aid, on trying to do some positive things too to brighten their lives in the immediate sense.

I’m down a car this week, so out of routine. Bruce’ll fix in on the weekend. But I went across the road for some sun with the dog just now and that was nice, gave me some healing warmth. I’ll catch the train into town tomorrow for group and might make some time to wander along the streets and browse the shops. There’s a few op-shops there I haven’t been to in ages I might pick up something from.

Love yas x

Blue Koala at the rest stop in Port Macquarie

Earnest and Overwhelmed – Teasing out the personal from the professionals this Homelessness Week

There’s a week for everything. Cancers, lupus, boys, thongs. This week is National Homelessness Week here in ‘straya, the lucky country, where there are no affordable homes to rent in most cities, let alone buy on the minimum wage, where we settled for mold-ridden shacks and ever-increasing rents rather than joining the ever-increasing homeless population. Sleeping in cars, in tents, on couches or garages, swags in the park until their moved on, but a nice little CEO sleepout each year will bring money and awareness to the charity sectors coffers.

My little granbaby turned one yesterday, having moved house three times already in her life, looking at another one soon. A young family needs to be able to establish roots, find some community and stability. You can’t grow let alone heal when you’re continuously uprooted, waiting for that email that says you’re on the move again.

NSW is supposedly strengthening their tenant’s rights, but they need to be enforced, and not have ben enforced by the little guy, the tenant who’s fighting to have a roof over their head. Landlords need to have consequences for being dicks about it all, and they need to know that it will cost them if they do lie about the reason for eviction or refuse to fix dangerous properties.

I’m tired and overwhelmed from yesterday. My car needs repairs. Well both our cars need repairs. I got some new kitties, bub got some too. I just wanted to take bub and her mum home and make them safe and warm and looked after but it doesn’t work like that, and it hurts.

I’ve been sick and now have passed it onto the boys.

I nearly had some paid work but that fell through, but I now have a working with children check completed and paid for so I can use that if something comes up. But that would involve me going for things. And I’m a bit of a spooked groundhog at the moment.

Groundhog Day, the Importance of Being Earnest. Movies we see over and over, comforting and just there. I’m told I’m Earnest, and I am there’s so much of the layers of the world that are needlessly there in my eyes. Why do we need to have all these layers? Whether it’s the extra layers of charities, meaning money is wasted at every step, or posturing and needing to seem to be doing good and being polite hen our actions are causing pain and suffering. So long as we’re nice about it. As long as the status quo and social cohesion is maintained, people’s rights can be eroded, their families sent away, the planet slowly destroyed.

Or quickly.

I probably should work towards getting that Autism and ADHD assessment, just to sort through it all more, know where I am. Or maybe I should just continue on my little way and slowly make this world my own.