Nice day for a lil meltdown

Happy Robodebt Royal Commission findings day. A day where welfare recipients and their families across the country get their fears and traumas acknowledged in writing and in the press and then hope that it won’t just all be forgotten by the powers that be next week when they continue to raise debts with people who can least afford to pay them, suspend payments without good reason (if there even is one when you’re living below the poverty line, UBI now), pretend to blush at the surplus and blame things on another government even though the current one is quite happily continuing on with the same trauma-enforcing system.

Had a mini-meltdown at the end of group today – it ran half an hour over and I was stressing that whole half hour about whether I would be seen as rude to leave, that I was a bad person for not sticking around that I shouldn’t because I didn’t have any real commitments. I was also worried that I wouldn’t be home to make lunch, or that I’d be home late, and that me being late might upset my partner because I’m in the good housewife role and even though he hadn’t worked this week so far he was sure to today, right?

I skipped out on costco which was a great call – UHT milk is fine and the dog has enough food for a few more days and I got beer from the bottlo where they bring it out to your boot for you. I was asked to get Maccas for lunch, but then by the time I did that and got it home Bruce was also in possession of Maccas. So Maxi was happy with the burgers. And I got my Birthday free Sundae that I couldn’t get the other day since they didn’t have icecream.

Sundae and a maccas coke

I also got fries with my points, so many fries.

I played Red Dead Online and went on a murder spree. I also won a fishing tournament, which is good money wise and also relaxing. Plus I killed an epic bear and got money for that which is good cos I spent $95 in game on a cute pair of purple boots so I’m poor now. IRL and in game. Speaking of poor, I bought a ticket for GFlip at the Bar on the Hill Sept 9 because I’ll love it and I’ll regret it if I don’t go. So I used my Zippay for that. Which I’m okay with. It’ll be an energising night.

I’m worrying about this more than I’ve let on, with housing and kids and their upcoming kids but it’s good that I’ve acknowledged it now and talking through it a bit with someone outside it all. Not much will change but I feel more valid. Validate me lol.

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