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Who are the people on your Internet?

They’re the people that you meet when you’re sending that snarky tweet, when you’re thinking of pushing delete, each day.

I’m a little off this week. I’m mostly blaming the rental inspection and the extra work and stress that came with that. Spilled my hot porridge getting it out of the microwave this morning. Dropped a couple of other things too. Unjokingly stated that my goal for today was to not drop me. And if I did let it be a gentle and controlled fall to the ground. Onto cushions.

So if I’m a little off it’s because I’m feeling off. I was apparently burning up last night and I had some wild dreams, vivid ones, ones I don’t want to relive. Things are getting to me, I’m seeing myself being stubborn on things that don’t really serve me. And I should just ask for what I need from others more, but sometimes I just wish they’d realise and do it.

It isn’t helping that fixing the Corolla has been a long process and without it I can’t do many of the things in my regular routine – going to the foodbank for bread or treats, doing the recycling, taking the dog to the dog park etc. I should have caught the train into group today but I’m not feeling up to the hassle of the trains and the buses and they were having issues yesterday with all the rain too. So I’m home.

So when someone on twitter goes off at me for something that I know is more their issue than mine I’m up to one or two replies then I’m off to ignore them, do something to look after myself (like watch The Batman and get disappointed that they didn’t all die) and remember that I’m a real person, that while phonakins IS me she’s also only what I share with you, and more people need to be aware that noone can be everything to everyone, particularly on Twitter, where as much as it might feel like a friendship sometimes you need to step back and not take it all so personally. I think the one-and-a-half-sided friendships like on Twitch with creators often applies to Twitter interactions too. I also need to remember that I’m just a fangirl of some of these bigger accounts and not really a friend. It’s fun while it lasts but sometimes it’s real and sometimes it’s time for a reality check.

I’m off to strike a balance of food, electrolytes (it’s what plants crave) and caffeine and hope that helps get me through today.

Aftercare in Activism

✨absolutely✨ pic.twitter.com/03iUVUtNsw

— 🤠 (@heavensbvnny) September 15, 2024

At the Anglicare panel, we were asked advice about supporting people with lived experience to participate in awareness, activism, PR and so forth. I referred to a couple of concepts borrowed from other spheres – looking after your “talent” and “Aftercare”.

As the tellers of our stories, we own them, we are the ones that went through the childhood, the illness, the trauma, racism, that a not-for-profit, or a politician, or other person or group promising to do good with this is looking to use to push forward their agenda. Of course it’s often not nefarious – some people are genuinely doing good or at least believing they are. And so, like you would if you were using a famous child star, puppy or washed up celeb to promote your brand of toilet paper, you need to treat the talent right.

The talent also needs to know they are the talent. They can’t be being talked into doing promotion for your cause out of guilt or sense of obligation because they have received some help in their time of need. It needs to be mutually beneficial, that might be a simple as paying your talent – giving them payment for the photo shoot, paying them for the article written about how awesome being supported by your organisation was. Because they are giving over more of themselves in this instance. They are selling their image, their story, their trauma, for you to promote your cause or service or product or scheme.

Us talent understand that different places have different budgets, but there are too many out there making way more from us than we’ll ever feel or be helped by them. Be the bigger party and start offering it. Start offerings stipends upfront for your clients to speak at your events about how awesome your are. This isn’t just for their time, it’s for their skill, and for them giving their story over to the audience and any trauma that comes from reliving that for your morning tea fundraiser.

The other concept I brought up, with a giggle, was Aftercare. A concept from kink communities, but very relevant when someone with lived experience is engaged for that lived experience. Not to say all kink is traumatic, but the kink side at least brings up discussing boundaries, setting limits, hell even safe words. On the panel I was on, I knew the other panelist and the facilitator and could tap out of the conversation if it got too tricky at the moment. But it’s discussing that before hand. Running through boundaries and questions and topics beforehand. What if you freeze in the kink play scene or speaking onstage. Who knows the signs to look out for. Is your talent someone with known mental health difficulties, diagnosed anxiety, or not diagnosed, and may know when they are getting past what they’re comfortable with. Ask if they need a support person with them, or who to call on.

After the event, what does your talent need? Are they able to stay on and chat with others or will they need time to regroup, duck to the loo, have a cold drink and then get back to it. Or is that it for the day, call them tomorrow to check in?

I’m still new to all this, but just know that your person with their lived experience, the talent, is vulnerable. You often have a lot of power in their relationship, particularly if you are or have been a service provider for them. People may not feel safe to back out if the situation goes beyond their comfort, but you need to make sure it doesn’t. You need to look after your talent, and make sure they are safe before, during and after. You want them having a great experience, and wanting to come back to do more, to let their peers know you’re safe to work with. That you’re one of the good ones.

Support my work: phonakins.com/support

Hitting Spring Running

Well, I mourned winter, but feel like I’m emerging into Spring with a new lease on life (cough be damned). It’s still with me when I transition between scenes, like moving to the kitchen, or getting up in the morning. But it passes, and it’s not infectious at least, so it just sucks for ME and that’s fine, hey?

I do feel a sense of mental clarity though, which is great timing, having just become the first employee of the unemployed workers union and having to be able to switch on in a professional sense for at least three hours a week. Nothing too out of my comfort zone, not that anyway, it’s all social media and PR, things I’ve been doing since I started online journaling on diaryland in 2000, or livejournal and blogs from 2001.

I’m putting together my intro on what my work is, personally, and with the Antipoverty Centre ahead of the panel Monday, which I’m not freaking out about but I haven’t done one before in any capacity. But she’ll be right, so long as my cough holds off and doesn’t want to kick in because I’ve talked too much as it did this morning in group.

Thankyou all for coming along for this ride, and happy wear it purple day!

And the week that was

So I posted, thinking I knew what this past week would involve, but of course that all changes. I still have the butternut pumpkin and not sure what I’ll do with it yet. I also still have this cough which has turned into a cough that’s triggered into a coughing fit when I talk too much or have crumbs. So I’m minimising my talking and dusty foods and environments. A blogging friend suggest it sounded like the tail end of whooping cough, and it does. I have a GP appointment next Friday so if it’s not too late to test for it I’ll get a pathology referral then, but I’m well past the window where any antibiotics would help and I’m not gonna be infectious so yeah, I just have to deal with that and the wetting myself which is the worst part. I’m getting older and am overweight so adding a cough has pushed my bladder control past its limit. lol. Ugh. I’ll live. It’s just annoying when I cough and that and also the dizzyness from lack of oxygen etc.

I’ve been asked to be on a panel for the Anglicare national conference in Newcastle next month, the panel is “Putting People First: Campaigning for Change Together.” so I’ll talk about my pivot from food blogging wine and chocolates and happily giving that extra 50c to a food care charity at the checkout to critiquing the food support foodchain and layers of waste and other aspects of the poverty industry while munching on my out of date snacks from the local foodbank, which at least having been donated meth lollies. I’m absolutely terrified, but gonna use my mantra “Speak because your voice shakes” to get me through.

I’ve decided not to renew my Greens membership, though will still assist my local group where I can for the upcoming local elections. It’s just easier not that have that perceived conflict on paper when I’m speaking truth to Labor, whether the Greens policies in that area actually align with my views or not.

I also went out of my comfort zone yesterday and agreed to dog-sit from someone I knew but wasn’t close to in highschool, but our lives have become more aligned in the years since and I consider her a friend. The coughing was a pain, but she shouted me sushi and even though she didn’t end up leaving me alone with the dogs so I wasn’t as relaxed as I could be with just me and the fluffers, it was good to get out and do something different, especially since my car is still out of action and we’re waiting on parts so my movements are limited.

I’ve been put in the bath to relax and it’s soothed my cough a couple nights this week as well as soothing the rest of me. This week I have a couple of evening meetings – one for the antipoverty conference I’m helping with organizing in Brisbane in November with APN Qld and the Antipoverty Centre quarterly meeting. I’ll minimise my talking, but at least I’ll be on minutes for the second. So, if you need me, expect only text xoxo

The Week Ahead

So I think I’ve move past my despair and disheartenedess from last week, ready for the pollies to go back for another sitting week and try to make some announce-ables on cost-of-living stick in the lead up to the Federal election, which I’m still feeling is gonna be may not December but who knows yet?

Speaking of announce-ables, the Combined Superannuants and Pensioners Association have looked at the numbers and anticipate a 2.6% indexation on the base rate of pensions and 2% on supplements and other payments like JobSeeker.

So, for me that’s $21.40 a fortnight on the pension, and $3.54 a fortnight up on rent assistance (going from $177.20 $180.74 a fortnight, $90.37 a week). Of course that’s already gone, so it’s a good thing I’m signing a contract with AUWU to become the first actual employee of the Unemployed Works Union to further their Nobody Deserves Poverty campaign. If I’m good enough at my job it won’t exist soon, which should be the aim for most of the charities circling the slush fund that is the welfare industry.

butternut pumkin on my lap

We’re still sick in this house, I’ve just got the tail end cold which is fine until I talk and then I cough like crazy. The boys are ploughing through the tissues, good thing I have a delivery of essentials coming from Amazon this week. If anyone wants to send a care package there’s some boring things on our household wishlist. We’re still down a car which means my opportunities to do my shopping around have been limited and we’ve had to actually buy bread this week (the horror!). Even though Bruce won’t be up to fixing his car, since he’s sick and will be doing minimum work this week I can hit up our locals for breads and fruit and veg tomorrow 🙂 Til then, the guy at the servo this morning gave me this pumpkin so I’ll chop it up and roast it and add it to tonight’s meal. Score!